Remnants
by Heartache14
Summary: "You are nothing, Len," his voice was smooth and deep and rich. "You are just a body, meant to be used. Nothing more and nothing less." rape, non-con Gakupo x Len, Kaito x Len
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Welcome all, to my first Vocaloid fanfic! So, this is another 2 A.M. oneshot, a random late night idea that just popped into my head!

**Disclaimer:** Heartache-chan does not own Vocaloid.

**Warning:** rape, sex with a minor, angst, sadistic/evil Gakupo, tortured/angsty Len. Don't like, don't read.

ENJOY!

* * *

He refused to leave his room after it happened.

He would allow his little body to stay cradled in softness of the comforter, an arm draped over his normally smiling face. In the darkness of the room, the memories would play themselves over and over in his head. His small fist would clench in displeasure, and his aquamarine eyes would close against the world even further.

Every day, Rin would come to the door. His sister, usually so jubilant and wild, would press her knuckles to the door lightly, as though pushing too hard would cause her brother to shatter. She would plead with him, worry clear in her voice. She begged him to open the door, to eat, to _talk_ to her. Why was he shutting her out?

And Len would ignore her, her cries falling on deaf ears. He would not allow any of them to see him. Because surely, even if the bruises faded, they would still know. He would be unable to hide it. His filthiness would be as clear as the purple splotches marring his skin. He was damaged.

Sometimes, they would sing to him. Miku would sit in the hallway with her back against the door, and Kaito would lean against the wall. Their voices would meld together into something wonderful and almost soothing. Catchy ballads came out like lullabies in a slow, calming cadence. Len would close his eyes and allow his bitten lips to mouth the words.

Len left the room only long enough to shower. The water was always scalding and he would always scrub at himself until he was raw. In the loneliness of the water, he could feel those uncaring fingers pressing against his skin. A feathery trail of purple hair tickling his face. Lips roaming around his body, touching places the young boy had not yet even allowed himself to explore. And then something would invade him, making him cry out in pain, making him beg for it to stop.

But Gakupo would not listen.

Gakupo would visit him again a few nights later. Len would forget to lock the door after coming out from his shower. The others were already in bed, and the house would remain silent. Len would card a shaking hand through his blond locks as his ears alerted him to the creaking of faint footsteps. He held his breath in traumatized anticipation.

The door would swing open silently, and the older man would stride in with careful, measured steps. Len would not move; no, he would continue to watch the man's movements in the reflection of the full length mirror near his dresser. Gakupo would nudge the door closed before advancing on his prey.

And Len would continue to watch in glass as Gakupo came closer. The violet-haired singer would pause until he was just shy of touching the blond. Then his hands would come to rest on thin, shaking shoulders, and it would begin.

Gakupo tugged the towel away from Len's damp body. He touched his lips to the younger boy's shoulder in a mockery of affection. Large hands traveled from their spot on the shoulders to a lithe chest. A violet head dipped forward and nipped at the skin on the creamy collarbone.

Len forced himself not to move as rough fingers pulled at his nipples punishingly. The hands briefly moved to grip him about the ribs and turn him around. A tongue was forced into his mouth, whilst calloused hands palmed their way down to his hips.

Gakupo bent down, sank his teeth into an already reddened nipple. Despites his efforts to stay still, Len couldn't help the anguished groan that slipped out. Nails dug into the skin of his thigh punishingly, pressing deep enough to draw blood. Gakupo dragged Len to the bed and pushed him down face-first.

Gakupo straddled the small teenager. Len tensed at the sound on a zipper being pulled down, and finally tears broke through the aquamarine barrier. He buried his face in his arms, until they were tugged away and held in the bruising restriction of Gakupo's hands.

Len was unable to hold back a scream as Gakupo penetrated him. Gakupo relinquished his hold on Len's wrists, bringing them up to wrap around the blond's mouth and nose. Another punishment for making noise. The violet one began thrusting his way in and out of the writhing body below. Gakupo opened his mouth to finally speak to his victim.

"You are nothing, Len," his voice was smooth and deep and rich. "You are just a body, meant to be used. Nothing more and nothing less."

More tears slipped out, tickling over Gakupo's fingers. Len began panicking as his vision blurred due to tears and lack of oxygen. His small hands desperately tugged at stronger ones. The hands stayed put. Gakupo pushed in once more, then the pleasure overtook and he released his seed into the body below. Finally, the hands pulled away and Len sucked in air in deep, shuddering breaths. Gakupo pulled out, his passion flowing out of Len's abused entrance.

"You didn't bleed this time," violet remarked casually. "Perhaps you are finally getting used to me being inside of you." Gakupo stood up, re-buttoning his pants. Then he left.

Len remained on the sheets for awhile in a pool of fluids. He allowed his breathing to even out. When he finally had enough strength, he rose to his feet and walked to the mirror. Finger-shaped bruises surrounded his mouth, nose, and cheeks. Red bite marks decorated his chest and white liquid continued to seep out of him. Tears shone indignantly on his face, marking their spot on him.

A soft gasp pulled Len away from his reflection. Kaito stood in the hallway, peering in through the door Gakupo had failed to close. It was dark, but the moonlight let him make out the glow of bruises. Kaito took quick purposeful steps into the room. He carefully grasped Len's hand as he pulled him to the bathroom. Neither spoke as Kaito filled the tub with water. The silence continued as the blue-haired one washed the blond, carefully and gently, so as not to frighten him.

The quiet carried on as Kaito lifted Len out of the water and wrapped him in a towel. He pulled the child – for Len really was only a child – into his bedroom, guiding him to the bed. Len merely watched as Kaito pulled out a shirt and a pair of loose shorts. Kaito dressed the boy with shaking fingers and finally he allowed his own tears to spill down. His heart ached for Len.

Len pressed his cold palm to Kaito's warm cheek in an effort to soothe him. Kaito smiled before tucking Len into the bed. The blond pressed his face into the pillow and inhaled the sweet scent of ice cream and Kaito. The older man slowly slid into the bed as well, watching for any signs of fear or apprehension on Len's part. Len merely pulled his nii-chan closer and buried himself into the warm arms. A hint of a smile appeared on his mouth before he finally drifted off into sleep. Tomorrow, the sun would rise. Maybe then he'd see Rin again.

* * *

A/N: And it's finished! Yay! Please REVIEW and tell me what you think. Reviews make me happy!

On a random note, I'm starting to think that I am physically unable to write lemon scenes that aren't rape scenes. What is wrong with me?

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: What's this? Has Heartache-chan finally heeded your requests and put up another chapter of _Remnants_? Why, yes, I have!

Before we get started, though, I need to clear up a few things; so **PLEASE READ THIS!** I realize that I haven't explained some things properly, and I apologize because it may have interfered with your enjoyment of the story. Miku and Rin and the others do NOT know what's going on. They know that something is wrong with Len because he has been isolating himself from them, but they are not aware that Gakupo is raping him.

Also, Kaito did NOT see Len getting raped (I'd like to think that if he had, he would've helped Len). Kaito came in towards the end after Gakupo left. He probably woke up all of a sudden; maybe he heard something and decided to go check it out. Whatever the case, Kaito does NOT know about the rape.

Soo, now that that's done, please enjoy chapter 2 of _Remnants_!

* * *

Len's aqua colored eyes fluttered open. Weak morning sunlight broke through the haze of his mind, opening up memories of the previous night. His cold hands gripped the cerulean comforter. Flashes of terror shook through his body as he was overcome by the phantom sensations.

The blond's eyes widened as he remembered something else from last night. Kaito.

Len turned to a still-sleeping Kaito. Sure enough, those long warm arms were still wrapped around him. Len tried to wiggle his way slowly out of Kaito's grip, but only succeeded in awakening the older man.

Deep blue eyes blinked open, only to immediately snap shut after coming in contact with the sunlight. Kaito groaned before slowly re-opening his eyes. He blinked a few times, cerulean orbs locking with aquamarine ones.

The blond then became aware of his current physical state. Kaito's clothes were much too large for him. They hung on his thin frame, revealing every disgusting inch of his tainted skin. Len quickly grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around himself to cover everything from his nose on down.

Sad blue eyes turned downcast. Soft lips parted to speak. "Len, what happened? Who did this to you?"

Len couldn't speak. His voice was stuck in his throat, unwilling to emerge. Pale aquamarine eyes burned, blurry with tears of humiliation and frustration. Small, childlike hands twisted tightly in the blue comforter. His soft pink lips mashed together, holding back the scream that was slowly building in his chest. His small frame trembled violently.

Kaito sighed deeply before reaching out to take the fourteen year old boy into his arms. Finally Len's tears fell and he let out a small shriek, muffled into the fabric of Kaito's shirt. The arms tightened around him and a soothing palm rubbed against his back. The pair sat like this for awhile, unmoving. Kaito fought against his own urge to cry. He needed to be strong, for Len's sake.

Finally, Len pulled away from the warm arms. When he spoke, his voice was thick and cracked with withheld emotion. "Kaito, I-I w-w-want to see Rin. Please." The older man nodded, carding a hand worriedly through his deep blue locks. He stood up, pulling the blond with him. Len held on tightly to Kaito's larger hand. When they stepped into the hallway, Rin was already anxiously waiting in front of Len's door. Her head snapped up when she heard Kaito's door open. Her matching aqua eyes widened when she saw her brother. Rin threw herself at her twin, tossing her arms around him. Len hugged his sister back, but couldn't help the wince that formed on his face when Rin squeezed a little too tightly. The blond girl pulled away, holding Len at arm's length. Her bright eyes roamed around his small frame, widening as they took in the alarming bruises on his body. Her eyes flickered up towards Kaito, accusation coloring them. Her small fist shook with anger.

Len covered his sister's fist with his palm. "No, calm down, Rin. Kaito didn't do this to me. It's not his fault." Rin shot Kaito a faintly apologetic look before returning her attention to Len.

"Then who did do this? Len, what the hell happened exactly?" Len tensed beneath both pairs of sympathetic eyes. He squirmed a little, suddenly desperate to get away from the two of them. "N-no one. Please, Rin, I don't want to talk about this. Please." Rin bit her lips, momentarily uncertain. Finally, though she took a deep breath, conceding to Len's wishes. "Fine. We'll talk about this later. Why don't you go get changed then head downstairs? I'm sure the others will be happy to see you."

Len embrace his sister once more, whispered a quick "Love you," in her ear, before ducking into his bedroom.

Rin turned her attention to Kaito, finally allowing the faint shine of tears to show. In the twenty year old's deep eyes she could see the same reflection of pain. Pain for a loved one. Pain caused by helplessness and inability to protect the small boy that needed them most. Kaito embraced Rin tenderly, both silent as she released voiceless sobs.

* * *

Len stared at the faint discolorations of his body. The jeans and turtleneck sweater would hide those, but the same could not be said for his face. The blonde sighed before deciding to get Rin to just cover it up with makeup. He pulled on a pair of yellow socks, then brushed his hair. He left it out, too exhausted to pull it up in it's usually ponytail.

Len tugged the sheets off of his bed, stuffing them into the hamper before he had a chance to think about what was on them. He exited the room, immediately slamming into Miku.

The teal-haired diva automatically embraced the small boy. "Len-kun!" she exclaimed, pleased to see her friend for the first time in a week. Over Miku's shoulder, Len caught sight of Kaito-nii and Rin, holding on to each other tightly. The blond felt a slight tightening in his chest, but Miku's exuberance distracted him. She grabbed his hand and dragged him down the staircase. Len protested and tried to pull away, but Miku refused to let go. She pulled him into the living room where the rest of their small make-shift family waited.

Luka looked up at all the commotion. "Len-kun," she said softly, a genuine smile on her gentle face. She stood up and hugged the boy lightly. Her mouth twisted into a frown when she spied the bruises surrounding his mouth. The tips of her fingers brushed softly against the marks. Miku's bright eyes widened when she finally noticed them as well. She loosened her grip on Len's wrist.

Meiko stormed over and demanded, "What happened to you, Len? Who the hell did this?"

Len shook his head, not trusting his voice. Luka glanced at him sympathetically. "Its okay, Len-kun. You don't have to talk about it right now. We're just happy that you're finally here with us." Meiko opened her mouth to protest but was cut off.

"Luka's right, Meiko. Len will tell us in his own time." The sake-loving brunette looked up as Kaito spoke, he and Rin making their way down the stairs.

"Len."

The blond froze, his body unmoving. He couldn't breathe. _He_ was here. _He _was standing right in front of him. _His_ voice was smooth and intimate and _disgusting_. Len wanted to get away. No, he needed to get away. Before _he_ came over and touched him, and once again Len would scream and be unable to stop it.

Gakupo smiled calmly, his expression betraying nothing of the previous night. The violet-haired man stepped closer, reaching out a hand to caress the younger boy's cheek. In response, Len took a hasty step backwards, his back softly colliding with Kaito's chest. Kaito rested his hands lightly on Len's shoulders. He could see the fourteen year old's soft rosy mouth silently whispering words.

_No. Don't. Please, don't touch me._

Dark blue eyes widened, but he was the only one who was aware of Len's distress. Rin and Miku were already moving away, yelling something about getting ingredients for a banana cake for Len. Meiko was muttering expletives beneath her breath, promising a slow death for the person who attacked Len. Luka followed her, trying to persuade the woman to watch her language.

That left the only three males of the household. Instinctively, Kaito pulled Len closer, set on edge by the younger boy's reaction. His confused blue eyes locked with Gakupo's cool purple ones; Kaito then diverted his attention back to Len. The tiny boy was shaking, and his face was buried in the Kaito's chest. He was muttering something, but Kaito was unable to hear what it was.

Everyone except Gakupo jumped when Len suddenly screamed, "NO! No! No! No!" Luka and Meiko whirled around and immediately rushed towards the boys. Rin and Miku – in the midst of putting on their shoes – froze, eyes wide and frightened.

Kaito desperately tried to calm the blond down, but he just continued screaming. "Len! Shh! It's okay!" Kaito found himself feeling incredibly helpless. He didn't know what to say. He certainly didn't know what to do.

All of a sudden, Len stopped screaming. Kaito sighed in relief until he realized that the boy was limp in his arms. Kaito panicked, shifting Len to one arm while the other frantically felt for a pulsed. Relieved that he'd found one, he laid the blond out on the couch. The twenty-year-old paid no attention to the worried girls around him. He merely watched Gakupo with careful, confused eyes.

* * *

A/N: And that was chapter 2! Woot! Don't worry; Len's not dead or anything, he just passed out from fear/anxiety. And am I the only one that thought that last part was written kinda awkwardly? Anywayz please REVIEW! In the mean time, I get to go do dishes so I can go out with meh girls tomorrow! XD

And since I forgot to do this up top….

**Disclaimer:**

Heartache-chan does NOT own Vocaloid.

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Woo! I have updated, and it didn't take me forever to do so! YAY! ^-^

**Disclaimer:**

Heartache-chan does not own Vocaloid, if she did Len and Kaito would be locked in her basement.

ENJOY!

* * *

Time is endless and lacks cessation, but for Kaito, it felt like everything had literally stopped. Everything – people, the movement of time, himself – felt as though it was going so slowly as he waited for Len to awaken.

After the blond had fainted, everyone moved in a panic. Rin had finally manage to jump out of her fright-induced stupor and rushed over to Len's side, desperately trying to revive him. Meiko, in an appropriate show of maturity, managed to calm the female twin down, explaining to her that jostling Len too much could hurt him. The brunette immediately took charge of the situation and ordered Kaito to carefully lay Len out on the couch. She sent Miku to get some water in case he awoke and told Luka to head to the store for some ointment for Len's bruises. The only thing left to do after that was wait.

Kaito sat across from the unconscious boy, his concerned blue eyes making a slow sweep around the living room. Rin sat crouched on the floor by Len's head, her small shaking hands caressing his sunlight-colored locks. Miku stood anxiously in the doorway of the kitchen, gripping the glass of water so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Meiko was slouched across an armchair, her sanguine eyes focused up at the swirling white paint of the ceiling.

When his eyes finally landed on Gakupo, Kaito couldn't turn away. Out of everyone, the violet seemed the most unaffected. He remained cool and relaxed, as though one of his dearest friends – practically a brother – hadn't just had a nervous breakdown and collapsed right before his eyes. Kaito tried to convince himself that this was merely Gakupo's way of coping with the situation – he would act as though nothing happened so he could stay calm. However, the blue-haired man wasn't so sure if he believed that.

Len hadn't begun to panic until he saw Gakupo. Was it possible that Gakupo had done something to the blond? Hurt him, perhaps? Kaito wasn't one to jump to conclusions like this, but he couldn't deny that what he'd witnessed was troubling. Even if Gakupo wasn't Len's attacker, it was clear that he was somehow involved.

He wondered what Meiko or Luka would think if he informed them of his concerns. Luka would be hesitant to believe him, given her relationship with the suspect, but she had an incredibly logical mind and would eventually see his point. Meiko would also be wary, but she knew Kaito was observant and wouldn't have said something if he wasn't truly bothered by it. Kaito vowed to speak to both of them later in private.

The person he wanted to speak to most, however, was Len. He knew that this entire situation would be resolved if he could just get Len to confide in him. Though Kaito didn't necessarily have a way with words, he did know that he cared about Len enough to do whatever it took to make him happy again.

* * *

Len's entire world was painted purple.

Behind the darkness of his eyelids, all he could see was an endless spectrum of violet. It swirled around him, making him dizzy and terrified. His breathing was coming out much too quickly. He recalled feeling warms arms wrapped around him, the familiar embrace of his Kaito, but he couldn't see him over the overpowering aggression of purple. How he longed to see the blue.

Len wasn't sure if he was sleeping or not. Panic latched onto his small frame, cold and unwavering. He couldn't move, despite how much he wanted to. And when he finally snapped his eyes open, purple was still hovering over him, except alive and breathing. Gakupo.

The warms hands continued to hold him down and violate him as they already had. Len screamed – at least, he assumed he had as the voice he heard was high and musical much like his own – but he had the feeling that no one could hear him. It was only then that he realized that Kaito's sweet warmth had left him, and he sobbed, wishing that he wasn't alone with this monster, even if this was only in his head.

Finally, though, he was alone in the dark plum-colored emptiness of his mind. He could feel soft delicate fingers stroking his hair, and a deep thrum of intuition informed him that it was Rin. He allowed the comforting palms to lull him away into nothingness.

* * *

Len slowly blinked his eyes open, the first thing he saw being the glistening aquamarine of Rin's eyes. His sister hovered over him anxiously. One of her hands was tightly clasping his; she was shaking so much in her concern. Len couldn't help but feel guilty that he'd caused his sibling to worry so much.

"Len, you're awake!" the blond girl exclaimed, immediately wrapping her arms around her brother's neck in a crushing hug. Len heard the faint shuffle of fabric and footsteps, the sounds of the rest of his family drawing closer. Meiko, Kaito, and Miku were at his side in an instant. Only Gakupo remained where he was, leaning against the wall.

"Len-kun, you had us worried sick!" Miku scolded, though her voice held no malice. The teal-haired diva quickly passed Len the glass of water, urging him to take small sips.

"I'm sorry, Miku-chan," Len murmured quietly. His pale blue eyes turned away from the caring faces of his family. Meiko turned to the others, "Guys, why don't you go upstairs for awhile? I need to talk to Len for a minute." Her statement was mainly aimed at Miku and Rin.

Miku nodded, but Rin glared at the brunette. "No! He's my brother, and I have the right to hear anything you have to say to him!" Rin refused to leave her brother alone again. While she trusted Meiko not to hurt him, she couldn't shake the terrified, paranoid feeling she got at the thought of leaving Len.

Len squeezed his sister's hand comfortingly. "I'll be fine, Rin. Just go upstairs with Miku for a little while, okay?" Len tried to be reassuring, but wasn't sure if he was succeeding at it. Finally, with a sigh, Rin nodded and followed Miku upstairs.

Kaito glanced over his shoulder to violet-haired man against the wall. "Gakupo, why don't you go upstairs with the girls?" Meiko seemed a little confused, and Gakupo was about to protest, but as soon as he saw the terrified look on Len's face, he agreed and went to join the girls.

Len couldn't shake the cold, sick feeling he got at the thought of Gakupo being up there alone with Miku and Rin. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if something happened to either of them.

"Len," Meiko spoke, keeping her tone soothing but firm, "I know this is hard for you, but I need you to tell me what happened. We can't fix this situation if you don't tell us something."

Kaito chimed in, "We want you to be happy and feel safe again, Len, but we can't make that happen if you don't confide in us. Anything you tell us will just stay between the three of us, if you want. We won't tell anyone, not even Rin, if that's what you wish."

Len bit his lip, overwhelmed by the concern Meiko and Kaito were showing him. As much as he wanted to tell them, he couldn't.

Len forced himself to smile, though he didn't feel happy in the least. "It makes me happy, that both of you care about me so much, but please don't worry about me. It's nothing, and I'd rather not talk about it."

"Len, are you afraid of this person?" Meiko asked, trying to comprehend why Len was refusing to trust them. "Whoever they are, we won't let them hurt you again," she vowed.

Len didn't respond, choosing to stare at the floor instead. Meiko and Kaito exchanged a look. Finally, Kaito sighed in defeat.

"Both of us are here when you're ready to talk," Kaito sighed, his deep sapphire eyes solely focused on Len. "And so are, Rin and Luka and Miku and…," he hesitated over Gakupo's name before steadily moving on. "We all love you very much, Len-kun." Without even thinking about it, Kaito leaned over and pressed a sweet kiss to Len's forehead. The blond felt heavy tears build in his eyes. Quickly he stood up, muttered a strangled "Thank you," and returned to the solitude of his room.

"Meiko," the twenty-year-old spoke quietly once they were alone, "I think…Gakupo knows something."

* * *

Len sat at his desk hovering over a hard-bound yellow notebook. It was a journal of sorts, a safety zone for all of his thoughts and feelings. In that little notebook he could scream and curse and cry as much as he pleased, without the fear of any consequences. Recently, all of the entries had been about _him_.

The pen sailed across the paper. Len could feel his hand cramping, vainly fighting to keep up with the spinning thoughts in his head and the voiceless emotions of his heart. He could barely see what he was writing anymore, as his eyes were blurry. A drop of salt water hit the paper, smudging the words.

Len jumped when a quick knock at the door sounded, but he quickly fought to regain his composure. "Come in," his anxiety-thick voice called.

The door eased open quickly, and there the violet stood.

Gakupo's expression was a little different this time. Anxiety creased his brow, and his mouth was set in a worried frown. Was that a glint of…remorse in those dark violet orbs?

"Len, would you come with me on a drive?" Gakupo inquired, though Len knew without a doubt that this was not truly a request. Despite the deep thumping of fear in his body, Len nodded, tucking his black pen in between the journal's binding. The frightened blond slid a pair of sneakers on. He took a moment to leave Rin a note as to where he was going and tapped it on the outside of his door. Gakupo raised an eyebrow at this but did not argue.

The two of them left and got into Gakupo's car, a sleek black vehicle. They drove on in silence for awhile; Len simply watched the slowly setting sun, vaguely admiring the golden-rose color of the sky.

Finally, Gakupo spoke. "Considering the fact that Meiko hasn't tried to kill me yet, I'm guessing that you haven't told anyone about what we did."

_What we did_. The phrase rang through Len's mind, taunting him. _Yes_, the fourteen-year-old thought, _because this is just as much my fault as it is his_. Len shook his head, confirming Gakupo's statement.

The purple-haired man nodded to no one in particular. "Len, I'm going to have to ask you not to tell anyone," he hesitated before adding, "especially not Luka. You have to consider how she would feel if she knew."

The blond fought the urge to yell at Gakupo. Why should he do anything for him? Gakupo hadn't been considerate of his feelings!

_Even still, I don't think I could do something quite that cruel to Luka-nee. I am at fault too._

No. He would not tell anyone about what had occurred between Gakupo and himself. It could destroy their entire family. A rift would be opened up, because surely one mention of the truth would rip them apart.

Rin would be furious with Gakupo; she wouldn't understand that a large portion of the blame lay with Len. The two of them would have to leave or Gakupo would; Rin would refuse to have her brother in such a threatening environment.

Miku would be heartbroken. The diva loved both Gakupo and Len as brothers. She would be so upset if either of them left. Len couldn't stand the thought of ruining that sibling-like relationship between Gakupo and Miku.

Meiko would be angry at the both of them, able to see how they shared the blame. She would probably kick both of them out.

And then there was Luka. Kind sweet Luka, who always treated Len like a doting mother, would have to like with the fact that her lover cheated on her with a fourteen-year-old boy, a mere child who couldn't compare to her in looks or personality. How could Len ever break her heart like that?

Finally, there was Kaito, the caring older brother who Len loved almost as much as he loved his sister. Kaito would find him disgusting. He wouldn't want to touch him anymore or hold him; he wouldn't want to look at him with those beautiful cerulean eyes. Surely, Kaito would hate him for being so weak, so filthy, and so impure. Len wasn't sure if he would be able to survive if this was the case.

So, no, he concluded, he could not tell anyone.

"I won't say anything," Len answered softly, his throat tight. "Everyone would be so upset if they knew, and…I can't hurt Luka-nee like that. So I promise, I will stay silent."

* * *

A/N: What's with me and angst? Anyway, I hope you guys weren't all, "RAHH! WHY IS GAKUPO SUDDENLY NICE? RAHH!" but I just wanted to show where his priorities were at AND show that he's considerate of someone's feelings…just not Len's. Oh, and I know its slow going on the KaiLen stuff but we're almost there! And next chapter I get to write my favorite part of this entire fic! YAY!

Oh, and thank you guys so much for the reviews/favorites/alerts! You all are so supportive of me. This chapter is for you guys!

OOOOHHHH, and before I forget, I'm working on a new Vocaloid story (which I'm about to publish as soon as I put this chappy up). It's called _The Yamaha High School Softball Team_. The pairing is gonna be KaitoxLen, but I'm also gonna slip in a few other pairings. Please check it out!

Thanks again guys and please REVIEW!

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Ah, guys, I am soooooo sorry about the long update! My laptop's messed up, and I only recently got around to finishing up this chapter. We're gonna be sending my computer off soon, so only a few more weeks of little to no updates from me! YAY!

**Disclaimer:** Heartache-chan does not own Vocaloid. *cries*

**Warning****:** Slight mentions of rape in this chapter, nothing graphic. It's just, ya know, mentioned and shizz. Like, 'yeah, i'm rape. what's up?' kinda thing. Not really, I'm joking about that.

Mm, kinda long chapter this time around...

ENJOY!

* * *

Rin pushed the knife through the pale flesh of the fruit, her frustration evident in the unnecessary force exerted. Her vision blurred a little as anxious tears filled her eyes. She paused, releasing a shaking breath, and continued to slice bananas.

Across the counter, Miku studied the blond anxiously as she prepared the pie crust. The teal-haired girl couldn't help but feel worried for the twins. Her glossy pink lips parted to speak; changing her mind, she slammed her mouth shut, uncertain of what to say. "If you have something to say, Miku, just say it."

The diva jumped, her hands nervously fluttering away from the graham cracker crust. She didn't know which was more disconcerting: that Rin hadn't referred to her as Miku-chan or that Rin's voice sounded so hollow.

"I-I'm sorry, Rin-chan," Miku stammered softly. "You and Len-kun are so close, closer than any of us can understand. Seeing him like that must have been hard. I can't imagine…"

Rin interjected her friend sharply. "Len and I have never been apart. I've always been at his side no matter what; knowing that I wasn't there when my brother needed me the most…," Rin's voice trailed away, the knife hovering over the bananas as she paused. Finally, the blond shook her head and continued. "You have no idea what that feels like, Miku."

Miku nodded, anxiously biting her bottom lip. "Do you…do you think Len told Kaito-nii and Meiko-nee…about what happened to him?" She asked quietly.

"No," the twin murmured. "Len's always been so private. I don't think he told them, especially since he didn't even tell me." Rin's aquamarine eyes turned pensive once more. Her hands shook imperceptibly. Her saddened blue orbs turned to her friend. "Miku, do you," her voice wavered over the words, "think Len's going to be okay?"

Miku forced herself to hold Rin's gaze, though it was painful for her to see the blond in such turmoil. The teal-haired girl forced herself to speak honestly, regardless. "I think he'll be fine, if he let us help him. I think he needs us, all of us, to help him get through this. More than anything, he needs his sister." Miku stood next to the younger girl and placed a comforting hand on her arm. "He can't so this alone, Rin-chan."

* * *

Kaito turned his gaze to the wall as Meiko's blunt crimson eyes burned into him. He didn't speak, allowing his rather bold statement to sink. Burst of doubt clouded his mind. He'd spoken up too soon, made accusations too soon, and it was too late to take it back.

"You think Gakupo did this to Len?" she repeated. They felt so strange and foreign on her tongue. She didn't like the way they rang in her ears, nor did she like the underlying repercussion and implications they held. It seemed so strange to her that one little sentence could hold such weight.

"No!" Kaito blurted immediately, indigo hair swaying as he shook his head frantically. He stopped the motions, taking a moment to turn Meiko's question over in his head. Finally, he corrected himself, "Well…maybe. I just feel like he's involved in all of this somehow." Kaito explained everything he'd observed: Gakupo's strange mannerisms, Len's reactions to the older man's presence and voice. Meiko remained quiet throughout the explanation. However, as soon as he was finished, she shook her head, immediately rejecting his theories.

"I don't believe you," Meiko stated plainly. She refused to even consider the option. "Gakupo would never hurt Len. He would never _let_ anyone hurt Len." The brunette rose to her full height, planting her hands over her hips as she towered over a seated Kaito. "And I can't believe you would even _suggest_ such a thing! Gakupo's our _family_. You idiot!" she raged on. "What the _hell_ would make you think –"

Kaito cut her off, standing up as well. "You didn't see his face, Meiko!" The cerulean-eyed man shouted. "You didn't see the way he was hurting and scared! I know you think I'm an idiot, but at least take what I say under consideration for Len's sake!" Kaito took a deep breath, calming down before pushing on. His voice was much quieter now as he glanced towards the kitchen where Rin and Miku currently were. "I get that you don't want to think of Gakupo hurting Len. I get _that_; I hate the notion of it just as much as you do. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you push this aside because you're too scared; especially not when it's effecting Len like this."

Neither of them spoke, and simply stared at each other, breathing heavy and hearts determined. They didn't break their gaze until they heard the front door slam. Meiko and Kaito were both equally alarmed to see Len dashing into the living room. The blond didn't speak, instantly making his way to the stairs. Kaito glanced at Meiko briefly before dashing after Len. About midway through the stairs, the older man caught up, gently wrapping a hand around the fourteen-year-old's arm to halt his progress. Len whirled around, his eyes frightened and dejected.

Kaito took a few steps closer, until they were just a few centimeters shy of touching each other. "Talk to me," Kaito said imploringly.

Len opened his mouth, presumably to reject this request, but Kaito quickly covered the younger boy's mouth with his fingers. Absently, he couldn't help but enjoy smooth, moist sensation of Len's mouth against his skin. "No, we don't have to talk about that. We talk about anything you want, Len, I swear." His fingers trailed against Len's cheek before tangling themselves in golden strands.

Len nodded, then clasped hands with his dearest nii-chan.

* * *

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Len threw open the door and ran inside. Gakupo watched him run, sighing heavily. He couldn't help the simultaneous pangs of guilt and lust that tore through him as he watched Len's small, willowy body. The violet sighed and tilted his head back to rest against the back of the seat. His eyes wandered to a faint collection of scratches on his hand. Len's handiwork.

As Gakupo moved to exit the car, headlights washed over him. He peered through the brightness to see Luka pulling into the driveway. He grinned at his beloved Luka and leaned against the hood of his car to wait for her. Gakupo couldn't help but admire her silky long hair and shimmering turquoise eyes – such dazzling orbs that held concern, apprehension, and just a tiny bit of happiness at his presence.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" Luka called as she neared her lover. Immediately, the two leaned in to embrace each other and share a brief kiss. Gakupo smiled against her lips. They were pleasurably firm and intriguingly spicy, so unlike the soft, giving sweetness of Len's childlike mouth. It was deep and sensual, a feeling meant to be cherished and savored. Luka pulled away, gently brushing her lips against his jawbone.

"I took Len out on a drive," the purple-haired man replied. He wrapped an arm around Luka's waist and slung the other around her hips, allowing his hand to rest at the small of her back. "I was hoping that maybe he'd tell me what was going on."

Luka frowned. "Any luck?"

Gakupo shook his head, "No, he won't tell me anything. He seemed so upset when I asked."

The rapist couldn't help but grimace at the melancholy reflected in the turquoise orbs he adored so much. It was difficult seeing Luka react this way, seeing her act so concerned over a mere plaything, something he'd resorted to as a release to his violent bouts of lust. Len was _nothing_. Why did everyone care so much?

The pink-haired woman linked her arm through Gakupo's, tugging him towards the house. "I just hope Len-kun confides in us soon. It's so hard seeing him this way, like he'll break at any second." She looked up at her boyfriend, eyes glistening, "And I don't know if we'll be able to fix him if he does."

Gakupo pressed his lips together, forcing himself not to speak. _Then don't try to fix him! Let broken things stay broken!_

The house was surprisingly quiet when Gakupo and Luka entered. It lacked the usual noises of their daily lives. Rin wasn't storming up and down the stairs; Miku wasn't whirring up some new vegetable concoction in the blender. Meiko wasn't yelling drunken obscenities at anyone; Kaito wasn't digging through the freezer for ice cream. The television wasn't on. The radio wasn't blasting their songs. The phone wasn't ringing from all the obsessive calls from their extended singing "family". And maybe it was because she hadn't heard it so long, but their house seemed dead without sound of Len's achingly beautiful voice ringing and echoing throughout it.

Instead Meiko was sprawled across the couch, staring at the dark television as she silently sipped from a bottle of vodka. Miku and Rin whispered to each other quietly in the kitchen as they prepared a banana crème pie. Kaito was presumably upstairs with Len, and neither of them was making any noise. They were all just as soundless as Len was.

* * *

Once they reached Len's room, the pair sat on the bed facing each other.

"Len, where were you earlier? None of us had even known that you went out."

The blond swallowed nervously, his mouth suddenly dry. "I was out with…Gakupo-nii." His breath hitched over the violet's name.

Kaito froze, slightly alarmed by the declaration. He had intended to keep Len from being alone with Gakupo, at least until he was sure that the older man wasn't somehow involved. It didn't matter if Gakupo hadn't been the direct cause of these bruises. The point was that he'd allowed Len to be hurt, and in Kaito's mind, that was unacceptable.

In the next passing moments of silence, Kaito steeled himself to ask his next question. It would be difficult, and the answer could possibly change everything, but it needed to be done. _I don't want Len to be hurting like this. I want to protect him. I want him to smile. I…_

"Did Gakupo hurt you, Len?"

Len squeezed his eyes shut. It was too much. Too many thoughts of Gakupo; too many thoughts of all of the awful things he'd done to Len on this very bed. Len couldn't breath. He could smell _him_, he could hear the same rhythm of his footsteps, and his breathing, and his thrusts.

"Oh God," he whimpered.

He could feel Gakupo inside of him. His mouth and skin and teeth were everywhere. He couldn't escape. He couldn't forget. Gakupo was everywhere, penetrating his soul.

Finally, Len snapped his eyes open, immediately seeking out loving blue of his Kaito. As soon as their eyes met, Kaito knew.

_Gakupo hurt him._

_He hurt my Len._

He could only see Gakupo bruising, hurting, inflicting pain, _torturing_ Len. His Len – the purest, sweetest, most beautiful person Kaito had ever known.

Len clapped a palm to his mouth, his eyes watering as his body trembled. He could hear slow careful footsteps in the hallway. He pushed himself as close to Kaito as possible, his thin fingers clawing against the older man's arm desperately. Kaito pulled Len to his chest and wrapped his comforting arms around him. "Shh," he murmured gently, but the fourteen-year-old still shook in his arms.

"Len, its okay," Kaito soothed, brushing his mouth against smooth golden hair. "I won't let him hurt you; I swear I won't." The blue-haired carefully pulled the blond away from his chest, cradling his head in both hands. "Just… please, Len. Please tell me what he did, how he hurt you."

Len shook his head frantically. His aquamarine orbs were terrified and desperate. "I can't, nii-chan, I can't." Kaito could make out the faint ache of pain in his voice. "I won't. You won't…,"he struggled, unsure of what he wanted to say. Finally Len merely whispered, "You'll let go."

Kaito shook his head, his cerulean hair swaying a little as he did so. "No, I won't, Len. I promise I won't. Just trust me, please. Trust me not to let go. I'll still be here. I'll always be here."

Len took a deep breath as he just stared up at Kaito's eyes. His deep, shining blue eyes poured out so much emotion, more than Len felt he could handle at the moment. He searched, though, for the one thing he wanted to see from Kaito more than anything else. He could see it resting there, tentative and dormant. It was all for him.

The blond boy sighed and turned his eyes downward. "Don't leave me," Len mumbled. And then, he opened his mouth and told Kaito everything.

* * *

A/N: Multiple POVs in that chapter! I love writing through different POVs. I really enjoyed writing Gakupo's part, as well as Kaito's. Oh, and Lenny's about to tell Kaito what's going on! Eeee! Is it wrong that I am this excited about the next chapter of my own story? -_-'

And just so no one's confused, just as Gakupo's convo with Luka is happening just as Meiko and Kaito are coming to the end of their convo (a.k.a. just as Len is walking in). You can think of this way: Meiko and Kaito talk, Len gets home, Kaito goes after him, Luka pulls up and talks to Gakupo, they go in the house just as Len and Kaito are beginning to talk in Len's room.

Oh, guys, I have another Vocaloid fic planned! I'm not gonna say much about it (it's a surprise), but its my best idea yet! (Or so i think...) I'm not sure when I'm gonna get a chance to sit down and type it up but know that it is coming!

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: First of all, I just want to apologize for the massively long wait for the update. I was having writer's block (I actually wrote this chapter about three different times) before I finally found a version that I was halfway pleased with. Not to mention, I am currently juggling AP classes, college applications, scholarship applications, extracurricular activities, and other fanfics. You guys deserve waaaay better than this, especially considering all the support you've given me for this story.

Secondly….OH MY FREAKIN' BOB! _65 REVIEWS? FOR FOUR CHAPTERS! _I didn't even know that was possible (for me, anyway)! I want to thank everyone that reviewed, favorited, and added me (and this story) to their alerts. It means so much to me, and I can barely put into words how thankful I am. I don't have time right now to respond to all of the reviews, but I'm hoping to this next time around.

**Disclaimer: **Heartache-chan does not own Vocaloid.

ENJOY!

* * *

_I don't… want to hear this._

The thought was selfish, simply born of fear, and Kaito knew it. As he held Len's small fragile hands in his own, he couldn't help but internally recoil at the thought of Gakupo's actions. Like a muddled cloud, hues of uncertainty, anger, and apprehension welled up inside of the cerulean-eyed man. His most precious person, his darling Len, had endured all of this, and yet Kaito was too weak to hear it. The bruises were a story in of themselves, faintly telling of the cruel events. Deep ocean blue eyes remained focused on the flaws, fearful of finally knowing the truth.

"Kaito-nii, you have to know… there's something wrong with Gakupo-san, okay?" the words fell from crimson lips awkwardly and stunted. "It's not all his fault. I noticed some things. He was acting differently, and he was s-so a-aggressive all of the time, b-but I d-didn't say anything. I'm sorry."

A retort rose from Kaito's chest; he fought against the urge to snarl out his statement. "I don't know what Gakupo did, Len, but I know that none of this is your fault."

A heavy silence fell between them. Kaito gently rubbed the pad of his thumb over Len's hands in slow, soothing motions. The silence seemed to engulf them, like an insistently suffocating presence. Words felt inadequate at the moment, as the stillness was an omen for the conversation yet to come – one that Kaito dreaded hearing, and one that Len dreaded reliving.

"G-gakupo-san has been acting really weird for awhile now. He wasn't touching Luka-nee as much as he used to, a-and I could always feels his eyes on me, l-like he was judging me," Len stuttered sadly. "For awhile…I just thought it was all in my head; I w-was hyper-sensitive to it, c-continuously over-analyzing every little thing. But…I wasn't wrong; I wasn't making any of it up."

The blond hesitated once more, teeth toying against his bottom lip nervously. "G-gakupo," Len took a deep breath, his voice hitching lightly as the painful words caught in his throat, "r-raped me."

* * *

_You didn't see the way he was hurting and scared!_

…_I get that you don't want to think of Gakupo hurting Len. I get that; I hate the idea of it just as much as you do._

Meiko could hear Kaito's words bouncing amongst her mind. They sent her head reeling, seeming to taunt her slightly intoxicated mind. The words seeped into her brain further and further, despite her vain efforts to keep them at bay. Even in her inebriated state, Kaito's words could not be drowned out. Meiko tilted the bottle of sake up to her lips with a groan.

_I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you push this aside because you're too scared; especially not when it's effecting Len like this._

"Dammit!" The slightly intoxicated brunette screeched as she stood, sake bottle smashing against the floor. The rice wine pooled against the mahogany wood, the glass shards glittering at her feet. Alarmed footsteps sounded from behind her, and Rin burst into the living room with Miku at her heels.

"Meiko-nee!" the teal-haired girl exclaimed. "Are you alright?" Meiko didn't answer, choosing to storm up the stairs instead. On quick feet, she approached Gakupo's room, not even bothering to knock. The door flew open, slamming against the adjacent wall. Luka and Gakupo jumped, the violet-haired man rising to his feet. In three quick strides, the aggressive brunette was directly in front of him.

"Meiko!" Luka gasped, rising to her feet as well. "What's going on?"

Meiko ignored the pink-haired woman. "You," she growled tersely, crimson-painted index finger stabbing into Gakupo's chest. "We need to talk."

…_at least take what I say under consideration for Len's sake!_ Meiko fought the urge to scream again. All of this was Kaito's fault. If only he weren't so incessantly stupid, she wouldn't be here, constantly having those damn fruitless doubts floating through her head. In a single moment, the cerulean-eyed man had managed to tear down every stitch of faith she had in the unity of their family. If only he hadn't said anything, if only Kaito had kept his mouth shut and allowed her to just bask in her blind hatred to some nameless faceless figure, rather than engulfing her in that mind-numbing doubt. Whether he knew it or not, Kaito was tearing their family apart in Meiko's mind. She could only be thankfully that he had voiced his concerns to her rather than to Rin or Miku, or even Luka.

Without another word, Meiko pushed Luka out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut. Those foolish, impulsive words were at her lips almost instantly, though she was removed from her emotions enough to make sure she kept her voice soft and low. "What have you done to Len, Gakupo?"

This was not how Meiko had intended to begin this conversation. She truly didn't want Gakupo to know that she suspected him of anything; she _didn't _suspect him of anything, or at least that's what she told herself. She just wanted to dispel these doubts. More than anything, she just wanted to get Kaito's stupid frantic voice out of her head. Kaito's earlier hesitation was almost understandable, and Meiko was experiencing a similar sensation now; the accusation had been out of his mouth before he could retract it, even though those probably weren't the words he'd initially meant to speak.

Plum-colored eyes widened for a moment before schooling themselves into a mask of apathy. "What makes you think I did something, Meiko?"

Why? Why wasn't he vehemently denying any involvement in Len's current state? Why wasn't he yelling at her, screaming at her for making such egregious accusations? Why were those infallible violet eyes so calm and so bitter? All of the words he hadn't spoken seemed to say more than the ones that he had.

"Kaito noticed the way Len's been reacting to your presence. That idiot swears that you did something to Len since he's been freaking out around you," she sneered, but the action lacked the irritation it normally carried. It felt almost easy to blame Kaito, as though Meiko was simply making excuses in her usual blunt manner, not wanting Gakupo – her brother in all but blood – to know that she had lost faith in him. It was a cowardly choice, but ever since her deep red eyes had taken in the sight of Len's bruises, she had been anything but brave.

"I-I didn't do anything to Len." His voice was quiet, too quiet for Meiko firmly declare what tone it was that his voice currently carried. Was it sincerity? Regret? Apathy? Anger? Meiko couldn't tell. Rather than dwelling on such details, she reached out and wrapped a hand around Gakupo's shoulder in an uncharacteristic show of support.

"I know." Her words were simple, but her voice was firm. "I told Kaito that," the relieved brunette ranted quietly. "I knew you would never hurt Len, that everything he was saying was stupid and ridiculous. We're family," she remarked almost absentmindedly, unaware of Gakupo's wincing. "Even though we don't always act like it, we all love each other too much to ever hurt each other." Meiko smiled faintly before rolling her eyes cheekily. "It's corny as hell, but it's the truth."

* * *

Downstairs, Luka kept her gaze firmly trained on the second floor landing. She couldn't even bring herself to be annoyed by Meiko's forceful attitude, for she had noticed the carefully veiled urgency and fear that resided within her friend's eyes. No, Luka was simply worried. Worried for Len, worried for Gakupo, worried for their family.

Next to her, Rin fidgeted in her seat restlessly. "Luka-nee," the subdued blonde girl spoke, her voice surprisingly soft, "Miku and I want to help Len. Even if he doesn't want to tell us what happened, we still want him to be happy and safe again. We're not really sure what to do for him specifically, but we want to be there for him; we want him to know that he's not alone and that we love him."

Luka nodded with a sympathetic smile on her face. Her graceful fingers absentmindedly toyed with the bottle of ointment that she'd purchased for Len only an hour ago . "I understand, Rin-chan. I want to help him too. I think that, more than anything, Len just needs to know that we're here for him. His needs may be as simple as that."

* * *

Gakupo couldn't put into words the emotions he felt as his bedroom door shut behind Meiko's retreating backside. Guilt was perhaps at the forefront; a deep all-encompassing sort of self-pity that he felt. He didn't want to lie to Meiko, but there was no way she could ever possibly understand! Len, Len, Len – that was all any of them ever cared about; couldn't they see him for what he was? A perfect temptress, presumably too pure to be stained; and yet, Gakupo had managed to do just that.

Kaito suspected him. The concept was troubling; after all, his suspicion had managed to put a grain of doubt in even Meiko's head. The violet-haired man could only be thankful that Kaito was still unaware of what had occurred. It was almost as though he was teetering on the edge of his own future, simply because of a decision he'd made – a decision that should be of little consequence, though this wasn't the case. How was it possible that Len seemed to hold such an impenetrable place in everyone's lives? Surely, they could see what Gakupo saw: a nearly perfect doll, meant to be broken. After all, this was simply a lesser of two evils, and though he'd rather not have the other know at all, it was better to have them hate him for this than to hate himself for something else.

Gakupo lacked remorse for these actions, plain and simple. His urges, these violent and angry bouts of lust, could not be directed towards Luka. He loved her more than anyone and hurting her was not an option. There had been too many nights where he had desperately fought with himself not to hurt Luka, not to inflict that terrible pain on her. Len was his only option.

Wasn't it Len's fault? That naïve little blond constantly pranced around in those little shorts and the borderline provocative outfits Miku and Rin purchased for him, continuously engulfing Gakupo's mind in flashes of creamy delightful skin; he was asking for it, wasn't he? If Len was going to walk around like an empty lustful shell – like a slut – then Gakupo intended to treat him as such. There was no going back.

A knock sounded at the door, and the violet-haired rapist took a few deep breaths before answering. "Come in," he answered, though his voice sounded a bit rougher than he'd have liked. The door swung open, and there stood his beautiful Luka with a hesitant smile on her face.

"We're all meeting downstairs to plan something nice for Len. You should join us." Gakupo nodded, stiffly rising to his feet and approaching the door. Slender, womanly hands entwined with his own large ones. He smiled down at his pink-haired lover before exiting the room.

From down the hallway, he could make out Len's jagged high-pitched voice, though it wasn't loud enough for any specific words to be deciphered. A lower voice chimed in, presumably Kaito. Was Len telling Kaito the truth, despite the fact that he promised Gakupo he wouldn't tell a soul? Was Len truly that foolish? He was simply giving up everything with both hands and tossing their lives to the wind.

"Gakupo, is everything okay?" Luka's face was wrinkled in concern, and Gakupo forced himself to smile at her calmly. In less than an hour, his life would possibly be over. As soon as the door to Len's room opened, their family would be crushed by the truth, left to scatter in the wind, remnants of the bond they used to share. For now, Gakupo would simply have to embrace the time they had left before Len's mistake tore them apart.

"Everything's fine, Luka."

* * *

A/N: Hmm, this chapter was really Gakupo-centered, huh? There was some info (in regards to Gakupo's thoughts/feelings about the situation) that needed to be included, and this felt like the best way to slip it in. If everything still seems a little vague, do not worry for the shit shall hit the fan in the next chapter. Not to mention, the next chapter will include the continuation of Len and Kaito's conversation.

I've already started the next chapter a little, so there will most likely be a much speedier update.

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I AM NOT WORTHY!

Okay, can I just say that I love you guys so fudging much? _**97 reviews!**_ You guys are amazing, and I can't put into words how honored I am that you guys took the time to read, review, favorite, and add this story to your alerts.

Soooooooo, it took me a long time to update. I'm sorry for that, but I've been super busy. BUT I have more time to update because I'M GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL IN 12 DAYS!

**Disclaimer: **Heartache-chan does not own Vocaloid.

ENJOY!

* * *

Kaito felt as though the entire world just caved beneath his feet. Len's words were like a punch to the gut – swift and unexpected, yet powerful enough to knock the breath from his lungs. He knew he should say something, anything to let Len know that he had heard him and didn't think any less of him, and yet words just wouldn't come. Anything he could've possible thought of in advance – any reassuring gestures or caring words – seemed to have left him, lost somewhere along with his sense of reality.

_Gakupo…he…_ Kaito couldn't even bring himself to think the words, let alone utter them aloud. No matter how loving his intentions were, there were no words that he could offer the blonde boy in front of him. Words were inadequate; insufficient reassurances that wouldn't mean anything.

Len's wavering, breathy voice broke the brief silence. "It's my fault."

Kaito blinked, sapphire orbs betraying the bewilderment he felt. "L-Len, why would you say that?"

"I-I k-kept teasing him, right? And flaunting my body? I w-was asking for it." Kaito couldn't believe the words he'd just heard. Gakupo's actions extended far beyond physical abuse. How could he make Len understand? All of Gakupo's words were simply lies meant to make the violet-haired singer feel better about his actions. "I-I didn't mean to, Kaito-nii!" Len blurted. "Please don't hate me!"

Kaito leaned forward, his hands carefully clasping Len's shoulders. His deep ocean eyes were desperate, silently imploring the blond to hear him. "Len," he whispered jaggedly, "how could you ever think that I would hate you, especially for any of this? I don't know what Gakupo told you, but please understand that none of this was your fault! You were a victim, Len. He forced something on you that you didn't want. He hurt you." As the words left his mouth, Kaito felt bitter anger rising through him, wild and torrential. "If anything, I hate Gakupo." The purple singer's name fell from his mouth like a snarl.

Kaito's hands rose to cup the fourteen year old's cheeks tenderly. Apprehension was clear in his dark blue eyes. "He…he only did it once, right?"

Teary aquamarine eyes pulled away from Kaito's face. "Three t-times. The second time was last night."

"L-last…l-last night…" Kaito felt as though the floor had just dropped beneath his feet. "L-last night, after I found you…" He was panting, his heart thrumming furiously in his chest. "I c-could've stopped this. I was next door the entire time!" Kaito's fist slammed against the bedspread, though the action did not provide any satisfaction. Len flinched at the action nonetheless and covered the older man's fist with his palm. Cerulean eyes stayed firmly downcast, shadowed by a curtain of deep blue hair. "Forgive me, Len." The blonde froze at the rough, earnest tone in Kaito's voice. "I failed you."

To Kaito's great surprise, Len laughed. The blue-haired singer glanced up bewilderedly to see sad tears fall from Len's eyes even as he laughed a little. "Its okay, Kaito-nii. You wouldn't have been able to stop this."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"How should I put this?" the young boy mumbled slowly. "I think… Gakupo-san was so out of control that nothing would've stopped him." The corners of the blond's mouth twitched into a saddened, thoughtful frown. "He was different when he…," Len faltered over his words, suddenly uncomfortable about saying the phrase out loud a second time, "did those things to me." Rather abruptly, the blonde vocalist shifted onto his knees, his beautiful dejected face mere inches from Kaito's. "Please Kaito-nii," Len begged; his voice was rough with emotion, and Kaito found himself wide-eyed. "Please don't tell anyone." His pale blue gaze fell away, abashedly examining the bed below him. His voice was achingly quiet. " Especially not Luka-nee. She doesn't deserve that sort of pain."

"Len…" The blue-haired man found himself shocked into silence. Truthfully, Kaito f felt useless. He was fumbling in the dark, just as lost and uncertain as Len. He was grasping at straws, searching for something, anything to function as a solution, however temporary. Perhaps there wasn't one, and their family would simply be lying there with the fragmented portions of trust. There was one thing Kaito was certain of, though, and that was that keeping this a secret was dangerous.

At last, the indigo-eyed man collected his meager thoughts and found his voice. "Len, we can't lie to them. Luka and the others deserve to know."

"Please, Kaito-nii!" the younger blurted. The strained desperation brought tears to Kaito's endlessly blue eyes. "Luka-nee will hate me! Please don't do this, Kaito!" _Please don't do this._ Kaito absently wondered if these were the words Len spoke to Gakupo on that fateful night.

The twenty year old shifted onto his knees, his lanky frame lightly towering over Len. He moved slowly, so as not to frighten the fourteen year old. A shallow silence filtered over the room, broken only by Len's faint breaths. Large hands carefully cupped the blonde's face, tilting it upwards so serious cerulean eyes locked with hazy aquamarine orbs. "None of this," Kaito murmured slowly and imploringly, "is your fault, Len. Luka isn't going to hate you. None of us are going to hate you. You're still the same Len-kun. Gakupo hasn't changed that."

_Am I still the same?_ Len couldn't help but wonder. He didn't feel the same. He felt violated and impure. Perhaps his darling onii-chan was wrong. He wasn't the same; he didn't think he'd ever be the same. Maybe after time placed more distance between him and the present; maybe once these last few weeks were reduced to nothing but memories. Maybe then he would be the same Kagamine Len, the one whose world began and ended with music, the one who was delightfully innocent and content. Len kept these thoughts to himself, though, simply nodding at Kaito's statement. Maybe he didn't feel like the same Len now, but Kaito's words soothed him. _Maybe I will soon be the same Kagamine Len, or maybe I will be a better Kagamine Len._

* * *

For once, Kaito felt just as childlike as his family said he was. Night had fallen, and as Len slept in his arms, insomnia took the blue-haired man in its grasp. His thoughts raced and swirled, keeping his far too active and agitated to even consider sleeping. _This is the second night in a row_, he recalled absently, _that I've held Len in my arms like this_. The blond was locked in a dead sleep; he didn't snore, but his quiet breaths escaped through delightfully parted lips. Kaito enjoyed watching him sleep. He was serene, not happy per se, but certainly content and at ease. It was a welcome change from the frantic fear and fragility he'd observed in the younger boy recently.

As Len rested against his chest, Kaito eased from his propped position against the headboard and reclined back against the pillows. His indigo gaze flickered absently around the room, landing on a set of stained sheets that had been haphazardly stuffed into the hamper. Just as quickly, Kaito forced his gaze away, pushing away the unpleasant thoughts. Instead, he dwelled on the past few weeks.

He could clearly remember the day Len had begun isolating himself. Most of the day had passed without incident (well, as close to "without incident" as possible). Meiko had only called him an idiot once, and Rin hadn't played any pranks on him, so the day was wonderful in Kaito's opinion. Miku was pleasantly prancing about the living room, proudly boasting about her newest figurine. In a rather sudden burst of excitement, she had leapt upon the couch, proclaiming that their family should celebrate. Meiko was demanding that Miku get her shoe-encased feet off of the sofa, but Kaito had drowned the rant out, as Miku had mentioned ice cream. Rin, clearly excited at the prospect of orange sorbet, was already pulling on her shoes. Kaito had grinned foolishly before bounding up the stairs to get the others.

Kaito quietly knocked on Luka's door, informing her of the outing. As he approached Len's door, his smile grew wider, already anticipating the way Len's eyes would sparkle at the thought of his favorite banana popsicles. And yet, his eagerness faded uncertainly at the sight of a certain violet-haired vocalist closing the door to the blonde's room as he exited. Disconcerted by the older male's presence, Kaito foolishly blurted, "We're going out for ice cream."

Dark purple eyes turned to him, and Gakupo seemed bewildered for a moment. However, his expression had quickly cooled, and he spoke before Kaito could reach for the doorknob. "Len-kun's not feeling well."

Kaito had frowned by way of response. "What's wrong?"

Gakupo waved a hand dismissively, attempting to assure the twenty year old that nothing was wrong. "Just a stomachache. He just needs rest; I don't think he can handle any ice cream right now."

Kaito reached for the door handle once more, but Meiko's impatient voice trailed up the stairs, demanding to know what was taking so long. Gakupo had replied to the call, but Kaito hadn't really been listening to him until he was addressed once more. "Go ahead with the others. I'll take care of Len."

Kaito wanted to argue. He wanted to push him aside. He wanted to shove the door open and see Len for himself. And yet he didn't. He simply nodded mutely and went downstairs, because he trusted Gakupo and surely everything would be fine.

When they returned, Len wouldn't open the door.

Initially, Kaito had tried to brush off his worry. It was simply a stomach virus, and Len didn't want to get the rest of them sick. Surely he would be fine in a few days. This is what Gakupo constantly reassured them of, and they believed it. But a week passed, and Len still hadn't emerged from the room. And even as their knocks and pleas grew more insistent, that door remained firmly closed.

At night, as Kaito had laid awake in worry, he heard the door creak open. Some nights, he ignored it, merely brushing it off as the delusions of his sleep-hazed mind. Other nights, the sound pulled him out of a dead sleep, and he'd sit there for a few moments, listening to faint shuffling footsteps. He'd fly out of his bed, rushing towards the kitchen or the bathroom, following the sound of those phantom steps. Every time he'd entered the kitchen or forced the bathroom door open, he'd find nothing. The room had been dark, and he thought he heard breathing but his own frantic gasps masked any noise he thought he heard. Each time, he hesitantly called out, "Len?" only to be met with silence.

* * *

A/N: Hmm, so I'm semi-pleased with that chapter. It was mainly about Kaito and Len (well, Kaito really kinda just took over this chapter, but I forgive him for that). So, you may be wondering why I didn't add more about the other in this chappy. That is because the stuff I want to include that is related to the others practically steals the show -_- So I'm gonna wait until the next chapter before I add all that stuff so it can be the main focus. I hope you all enjoyed that creepy watching-Len-sleep chapter. Yay.

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: *confetti falls from sky* WE HAVE BROKEN 100 REVIEWS! WOOOOOOO! *fist pumps like a champ* Thank you soooooooooo much, you guys.

So, it seems as though they're cracking down the whip on this whole rating thing. I keep hearing that they're removing fics that are in violation, but I haven't actually witnessed this for myself or anything. Because I am currently very persistent (and don't want to remove my rape scene), I'm gonna see how long I can float under the radar on this fic! I WILL FINISH THIS! If I do get busted, I will switch sites and just finish it up there (though I am confident in my ability to float under the radar).

* * *

_This is the calm before the storm_, Gakupo mused as his fingers languidly trailed patterns through silky pale pink strands. Weak morning sunlight filtered between the blinds, and the entire house was silent. Nothing could be heard as he and Luka lay in bed that morning and, had he not known better, the violet-haired singer would've assumed that this was a perfect beginning to a perfect day.

He wondered what Luka would think of him after today. Would she understand? Would she see him any differently? Gakupo wasn't sure. He only hoped that after today she wouldn't stop loving him, that after today they would be just as bonded as they'd always been – two intertwining souls forever.

The silence was broken. Rin was bounding down the stairs two at a time, cheering about the orange juice that awaited her in the kitchen. Her voice was as loud as it had been every other morning, but it lacked that jubilant trilling tone that had a tendency to rip Gakupo out of his sleep. Miku's voice wasn't far behind; as usual, she was proclaiming that her vegetable juice was far superior. Her footsteps were even and low, so unlike the rhythmic pattern of her skipping. Bringing up the rear was Meiko's chastising voice, scolding them for making so much noise, though her voice was far louder than the younger girls'. She sounded tired and weak, without a drop of irritation in her voice. These daily absences were normally an annoyance for the violet-eyed man, and yet he missed them. He couldn't help but wonder if this was an omen, a small taste of the aftermath of his actions.

* * *

Kaito simply stared. He watched himself in Len's full length mirror, searching as though the dark blue eyes that were reflected held the answers.

He intended to break Len's trust today. Throughout the night, he mulled over how things would play out today. He thought of the future that awaited them if he kept his mouth shut. Continuous days of watching Len suffer through fear and paranoia; nights spent lying awake, wondering if he would be fast enough to stop the incidents happening next door.

_No_, the twenty year old surmised. _Never again will I fear for Len's safety_.

His eyes wandered to the sleeping teenager behind him. Kaito wondered if Len's smile was as beautiful as he recalled. It felt as though a lifetime had passed, and the cerulean-eyed man couldn't recall the last time he'd seen the blonde smile. Was it last night, after he had seen Len shaking and crying before this very mirror? Or was it some time before that, prior to that fateful night that he'd seen Gakupo exiting Len's room?

Trust was such a fragile thing, as Kaito had come to realize. Simple actions could break it so easily, burning apart everything in its path. It was a chain reaction, unstoppable and undeterred. He could only hope that Len wouldn't hate him for this, but Kaito honestly didn't know what to do.

"Kaito-nii?" the fourteen year old's voice was drowsy and quiet. Kaito turned to see messy golden hair falling into his eyes and a hesitant smile on his face. _Pretty_, the taller man thought as he approached the bed. Warm capable hands swept away the thick hair, revealing gleaming aquamarine eyes. Affection coursed through ocean blue orbs as they took in the sight of flushed skin and peaceful eyes. In that moment, Kaito knew. His feelings for Len were strong enough to give him the reassurance he needed. Even is Len hated him, it was for the best.

It was all for the best.

* * *

Though they were only connected at the hands, Len could feel his onii-chan's entire body tensing as they walked downstairs. The gentle hands that were currently entwined with his own tightened as the living room came into sight.

Len forced himself to focus on something other than Kaito's anxiety-ridden form. There was nothing that could calm the darker-haired boy down at this point, and the more he focused on Kaito's anger, the more upset he himself became. Thusly, the blond tuned his attention away from it. He saw Rin approach them with an optimistic smile on her face, though it quickly faded at the sight of Kaito's tense face.

The girls were worried; that much was clear. Luka, Miku, and Rin slowly approached, but Meiko hung back for a moment. "Kaito, what's wrong?" the female twin blurted, clearly on edge. Kaito knew that he needed to relax, but he found himself unable to. His roiling emotions – anger, sadness, guilt – were choking him. He felt Len's palm touch his back in concern, though he barely registered it. He heard the others speaking in frantic tones; the words eluded him. He could only stare at the other male in their family.

"Kaito, you're holding him too tightly!"

"No, it's okay!"

"Gakupo, help us! He's going to hurt Len!"

"Dammit, Kaito, snap out of it!"

So many words rushing into his ears, unintelligible against the rushing sound of his blood. Gakupo stood to approach them. The sounds – the shouting of his family, his own pulsating heartbeat – keyed up to a frenzy and Kaito couldn't stand it. As Gakupo reached for his and Len's interlocked hands, the indigo-eyed man snapped. "Don't touch him!"

The yell sounded through the house, a resounding silence quickly following it. "Kaito," Gakupo whispered pleadingly, his eyes bleeding with fear. Silently, his eyes begged his friend, his brother, to stay silent. It was a tenuous moment, but Kaito shook his head. He wouldn't show Gakupo any sympathy.

"How dare you!" Kaito screeched, shattering the silence. His hand finally slipped away from Len's fingers, curling into a fist before swinging to sharply make contact with Gakupo's jaw. Someone screamed, but Kaito wasn't sure who. His vision was blurred with a thickened layer of tears; he could barely see through them but he could still make out the sight of that damned purple color; it was all he could see and it flooded his vision alongside his hatred. "How dare you touch my Len!" He threw a second punch, this one containing enough force to knock the rapist into the coffee table. The fragile glass shattered beneath his weight. "He's just a child, Gakupo!"

Hands pulled at him, and Kaito tried to yank himself away, desperate to hurt Gakupo. The hands were unyielding. A pair of thin warm arms wrapped around his waist, but they were just as quickly wrenched away. He could hear Len screaming, and that emotional pain wracked through him once more. "You're not going to touch him again!" The hands pulled him out of the living room and towards the backdoor. He was nearly out of the door, but one final phrase escaped his lips before he was forced into the backyard.

"I'll kill you for touching him, Gakupo!"

The door slammed shut.

* * *

A/N: It's crazy how much the chapters actually change once I actually write them. I'm not really sure how I liked this chapter; I'm a little iffy about it. And as usual, Kaito totally took it over. He stole the freakin' show O_O Well done, Kaito.

So I decided to karate chop this chapter in half. I planned for Kaito's super magical ice cream punch (IT WAS SUPER EFFECTIVE) from the beginning but it kinda stole the show and (in my opinion) would've distracted from some other things so I'm spliting the chapter in half. It's my mental goal to end this in 9 or 10 chapters so the last few chapters may be longer than normal.

Also, Kaito is out of his damn mind in this chapter. Well, I would be too if someone raped my shota. Just sayin' -_-

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hmm, this is probably my speediest update ever. I am quite proud of myself *triumphant grin*

I haven't done this in awhile...

**Disclaimer:** Heartache-chan does not own Vocaloid.

ENJOY!

* * *

Luka's entire world shattered as the door shuddered against its frame. Her turquoise eyes remained fixated on Len. The young boy that she loved so dearly was clasped between Miku and Rin. She could only see his bruises, however; dark purple imperfections that were created by long elegant fingers – fingers that touched her, caressed her; fingers that hurt the blond teenager in front of her.

_He's just a child!_ Kaito's frantic, murderous voice rang through her head repeatedly, and finally realization dawned. Gakupo – her kind, handsome, adoring Gakupo – had done more than merely bruise the creamy skin of the boy that was a younger brother to her. No, her violet lover crossed another line, far more sadistic and tenuous than an irrational beating.

At last, she pulled her eyes away from the small singer, her wavering gaze shifting until pleading, desperate purple eyes were in her line of vision. He merely stared at her as he sat amongst the glass shards of the coffee table. Was this the man she loved? An abusive, cold-hearted rapist? Did he understand the gravity of his actions? Was he pleading for her forgiveness or Len's? Luka wasn't sure; she only knew that her heart ached in a way she couldn't understand.

Luka approached Gakupo, stopping once she was just shy of touching him. Reflexively, her fingertip twitched at the urge to reach out to him. The long-haired woman stared down at him, her subsequent words hesitant but serious. "I deserve an explanation, Gakupo." She didn't wait for a reply, but merely stepped out of the front door. Luka didn't have to turn around to know that Gakupo was trailing behind her, anxious and frightened.

* * *

Meiko shoved Kaito into the backyard. Wild with anger and a sudden surge of desperation, the indigo-eyed man moved to shove the brunette away, but a sharp slap struck his face. He touched his burning cheek, bewildered at the tingling pain shooting through his face. "Stop, Kaito," Meiko hissed. Her sanguine eyes were unreadable, betraying nothing of the sadness that she felt. "Look at what you've done," she mumbled hoarsely. The strength left her body and she sank to her knees.

Kaito stared at her evenly. He shook his head; he'd had enough. Meiko couldn't live in this denial any longer; even if it hurt, he would make her understand. He wasn't the fool blindly making claims anymore. The current situation was a reality, and none of them could flee from it. This was the aftermath, the wreckage, of Gakupo's sick actions. The bond of their family lay in shambles. It was Gakupo's fault, and only his fault.

Once more, Kaito shook his head. "I haven't done anything. _Gakupo_ is the one who's ruined everything. _Gakupo_ is the one who sneaks into Len's room and rapes him and lies to him! _Gakupo_ is the one who destroyed our trust!" Almost abruptly, his voice lowered, losing its torrential edge. Ocean blue eyes shifted to the grass, curtained by similarly colored hair. Kaito fell silent for a moment before finally finishing his statement quietly. "Gakupo is the one who hurt my Len-kun."

"Goddammit, Kaito!" Meiko screeched, hefting to her feet. "Len isn't yours! He's a kid, Kaito." Her fist collided with his stomach, pushing the air out of his lungs. "And yet you lust and pine after him like some kind of goddamn pedophile! What makes you any better than Gakupo? You claim to love Len, but you're just going to hurt him like Gakupo did! You put on this damn protective act, but that doesn't mean your feelings are justified!" Meiko retracted her fist to hit him once more.

"Don't compare me to Gakupo!" Kaito retorted as the fist struck his shoulder. "I love Len more than anything!" he blurted and to Meiko's great surprise, a torrent of tears fell from his eyes. "This can't be wrong," the twenty year old muttered. "My feelings can't be wrong. I love him," he whispered brokenly.

Meiko shook her head. "You're confusing your feelings. You just want him," she declared bitterly.

Sardonically, Kaito snorted. "Don't belittle my feelings, Meiko. Maybe I'm not smart or clever. Maybe I don't know a lot of things. Maybe I'm just as much of an idiot as you say I am; but I know that I love Len. I love holding him in my arms; I love the way he pouts when Rin-chan does something mean to him; I love the excited expression he gets when he eats bananas; I love his smile. I'm stupid, Meiko, but not confused. I've never been confused about my feelings for Len-kun. It's taken me awhile to identify my feelings, but I've always known that my world begins and ends with Kagamine Len-kun."

In an almost motherly fashion, Meiko brushed away the tear tracks on Kaito's face. Words seemed to struggle to reach her lips, but once they did, they were careful and uncertain. "I will…do my best to understand your feelings, Kaito. I suppose I had no right to judge you for them." She tugged at his cheeks, a tilted smile playing on her lips. "You're a fool, really and truly, Shion Kaito, but I wouldn't want you to be anything but yourself. I'm not going to ask you to stop feeling the way you do; this only means that you'll protect Len and treasure him. Just…promise me you won't act on your feelings. Be his onii-chan; nothing more and nothing less."

Meiko's response surprised him. Kaito was expecting the brunette to hit him or vehemently deny his feelings. She didn't fully accept them or even approve of them, but she would do her best to try to understand. This was more than Kaito could ask her for.

And yet, Kaito couldn't get Meiko's earlier words out of his head. Was he really any better than Gakupo? He loved Len dearly, but there were so many facets to that love – aspects that were more sensual and far too inappropriate given their significant age difference. Did he want to make love to Len? The answer to that question made Kaito feel disgusted with himself. Even less so, though, was it okay for him to kiss Len? Hug him? Hold his hand? Sleep in the same bed as him?

Kaito shook his head. These thoughts could wait, he determined, shoving away the intense burst of self-loathing that had made itself known. He forced a smile onto his lips. "I promise."

* * *

A/N: Sooooo mixed feelings about this chapter. I'm not _entirely_ pleased with it but...I don't completely hate it either. What can you do?

*le sigh* I lied, you guys. I said the chapters were gonna get longer, but this one was actually pretty short. And why was that? Because I think I'm gonna make the story longer. Everytime I work on this story, I get MORE ideas. So now we might be looking at 10 or 11 chapters. Maybe more...

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: You guys, this is almost unheard of... a chapter of this story that I am 99% pleased with O_O *awed silence* Hmm, and considering these last few chapters, chapter 9 almost feels long! *le gasp*

Sooooo, **139 reviews**! HOLY FREAKIN' BOB! You guys are AMAZING! Like, I seriously feel the need to marry each and every one of you. Clearly, you guys are the most amazing people on Earth. I've been (slowly but surely) responding to the reviews. And might I say, some of you are hilarious. More than anything, though, ALL OF YOU MAKE ME EXCITED ABOUT **MY OWN STORY**! Seriously, your excitement feeds my excitement!

A slight **heads up about this chapter before you start reading**... This chapter has some flashbacks in it. Ya know, just to give you a little taste of how somethings went down. The _italicized _portions of the story are the flashbacks.

ENJOY!

* * *

"_I won't regret this," Gakupo vowed quietly as he hovered over the fourteen year old. "Even when you cry and scream, I won't stop. Anything you say or do…it's all empty and meaningless. Because that's what you are, Len." Strong fingers entwined themselves in golden strands, pulling and tugging painfully. "Empty and meaningless."_

_Wide pale blue eyes stared numbly at the violet-eyed man. Rather suddenly, a deep chuckle escaped Gakupo's lips. "You're almost perfect, Len. You stare at me so disbelievingly; you scream and plead on command. Your body bends and bruises beneath my hands. It's as though you were created for me, Len. A perfect release."_

_Almost desperately, a plea arose from the young boy. "Gakupo-san, please stop. Please don't do this anymore. You don't have to do this."_

"_I won't stop. Not for you."_

"_You need help, Gaku-nii!"_

"_No!" the older man roared, voice tense and low. His fingers gripped Len's hair even tighter, nails digging into his scalp. He repeated the word in a softer tone. "No," the word was dead and bland. "I can't spend another night fighting with myself. Do you know what it's like? To spend night after night, writhing in bed next to the one you love, trying so desperately not to hurt her? And the dreams…the dreams where I get so much pleasure from Luka's pain. I wake up disgusted with myself. But you…you were made for this, Len. You didn't realize it, but you were. Everyone else is deluded. Kaito and Rin and even your fans. They think you're this sweet, perfect person, but you're not. You're just a toy, barely even living."_

_At last, the fingers released themselves from Len's hair. They caressed his face with mocking affection, brushing against tear-stained cheeks before moving to his thin graceful neck. Nails dug into his collarbone, drawing thin crimson scratches. The hands moved once more, tugging and ripping at clothing, revealing a willowy, lush, **perfect** body._

"_I won't regret this," the violet repeated._

* * *

Rin stared at the glass shards of the coffee table. The glass glittered and shined beneath the early morning sunlight, bending the light. It was almost funny, how easily the table cracked beneath Gakupo's weight. It was almost similar to how their family had shattered as well.

It was an effort to push air in and out of her lungs. Her thoughts were almost incomprehensible as the prior incident twirled and contorted within her mind. Rin could feel Len's and Miku's eyes on her, and she knew she should say something, anything. And yet, she found herself momentarily incapable of words.

"Rin?" her brother whispered quietly and hesitantly. "Will you say something? Please?"

A laugh, bitter and hollow, escaped her lips. "It's kind of funny, really. I remember when I first tried to convince the others that you weren't sick, that something was wrong. Luka and I argued for nearly an hour, but I finally got her to believe me. And you know what she said? She said that maybe what you needed was some time away from us. Some time to collect your thoughts and deal with whatever it was you needed to deal with. I started screaming at her; after all, we're your family, and you need us. I was being selfish, though. I wanted to stay at your side and help you and protect you." Her glistening aquamarine eyes finally rose away from the shattered glass to meet a mirror pair of eyes. "But my selfishness only succeeded in making you have to suffer more, didn't it? You had to be hurt by that monster even more, didn't you?"

_That monster…_ The phrase seemed to echo and rebound in Len's head. Not even once had Len thought of Gakupo as a monster. He feared the man and even resented him, but also felt sorry for him. He admired Gakupo for loving Luka, but he also never wanted to lay eyes on him again. There was one thing that wasn't so ambivalent for Len, though - that being that Gakupo was human. A hurting, damaged living breathing human, but never a monster.

"This isn't your fault, Rin," Len replied firmly, stepping forward to take hold of his sister's hands. "You didn't know what was happening. I don't blame you, Rin. I don't blame anyone. I'm even trying not to blame myself."

"Len-kun!" Miku gasped, alarmed by the blond boy's words. "How could you have ever blamed yourself?"

Len sighed, eyes downcast. He swallowed thickly. "I ruined Luka-nee's happiness. I didn't want her to know what happened. I…I didn't want anyone to know, but Kaito-nii…"

"Len," Rin subtly interjected, "I know you're upset with Kaito, but you shouldn't be. He cares about you so much, and he just couldn't help himself." Her gaze fell to the door that Gakupo exited through mere moments ago. "And honestly, I can't really blame him." Just as quickly, though, she returned her attention to her brother. "So don't be angry or upset with him. He just loves you, Len."

The male twin nodded. "Are you…angry with me for not telling you?"

His female counterpart shook her head rapidly. "I could never be mad at you for something like that. Sure, I wish that you had told me immediately, but I know you would've told me in your own time."

The indescribable sense of relief flooded Len as his sister spoke those words. As he took in the sight of Rin's and Miku's supportive concerned expressions, he could feel some of the distress leave him. Their hardships were certainly far from over, but it was great comfort for the young teen to know that his family still cared for him and was still on his side in spite of the current predicament. It was much like the soothing sensation he felt from Kaito's kind reassurances.

He frowned slightly at the thought of his onii-chan. He'd never seen Kaito so angry or violent before, and it troubled him a bit. Seeing the force of Kaito's blow send Gakupo through the coffee table was certainly alarming, not to mention the words that he's spoken…

_I'll kill you for touching him, Gakupo!_

The words made Len shudder. Perhaps Gakupo's actions weren't his fault, but this…this violent and distrustful side of Kaito…no one was responsible for that but him.

* * *

"_You're wrong!" Rin screeched, frustration evident in her voice. "He's not sick!"_

_Luka approached the younger girl, arms outstretched to soothe her. "Rin-chan, relax. You're getting yourself all worked up. I understand that you're worried about, Len-kun, but you shouldn't' think the worst…"_

"_I know, my brother," the blond girl argued, voice and eyes imploring, "and I know that something's wrong."_

_It was late. Upstairs, Kaito's digital watch beeped, signaling the shift to midnight._ _The twenty year old sighed, fists clenched in his lank dark blue hair. With another groan, he shifted once more from his position on the floor, head rising to rest against the door behind him._

_Almost absently, he wondered if Len could hear the argument taking place downstairs. Was he lying awake in his bed, unable to sleep because of Rin's frantic voice? Or perhaps he was peacefully resting, ignorant to the worry he was causing all of them? Did he know that Kaito was outside of his door? If so, was he comforted by the older man's presence? Kaito truly hoped so._

_Life was strange, Kaito mused. It was only two days ago that Len had been arguing with Rin, and cheerfully eating bananas, and smiling that pretty smile that Kaito adored. Now, the young boy was secluded in his bedroom. Everything had contorted so abruptly, and Kaito wasn't entirely sure why._

_Down the hall, a door creaked open. Gakupo exited his bedroom, and Kaito waved by way of greeting. "You should get some sleep," Gakupo advised in a smooth, friendly tone. Kaito smiled at his friend's almost parental comment. The indigo-eyed man opened his mouth to reply, but Rin's bewildered voice traveled up the stairs._

"_I can't believe you wouldn't even think of that! Even if he is upset, Len doesn't need to be away from us!"_

"_That's not what I'm saying, Rin-chan! I just think that he might need some time on his own to deal with whatever it is he may be going through!"_

"_What he **needs** is to be with his family! For once, you don't know what's best, Luka!"_

_A door slam sounded from somewhere downstairs. Kaito sighed heavily. "It's like everything's sort of caving in on itself. Like dominos falling one by one."_

_Gakupo leaned against the wall, his relaxed body a sharp contrast to Kaito's tensed distressed form. "It doesn't have to be like that, Kaito. We give things importance and power; they don't have to have the effect that they do."_

_Taken aback, Kaito sharply lifted his head, slightly narrowed eyes locking with plum-colored orbs disbelievingly. "Of course, Len is important. We love him, so he does have an effect on us; I can't even believe that you're suggesting he shouldn't."_

_Gakupo firmly turned his gaze away from his friend and towards the wall across from him. Dark indigo eyes continued to watch him carefully. "That's not what I'm saying," the older man clarified at last. "What I mean is that we're overreacting. Len's just sick. We're letting a simple stomach virus turn us into fools. Rin and Luka are arguing; you're losing sleep, and for what? Len's refusal to get everyone else sick? Relax, Kaito. Take a shower, go to bed, and stop sitting outside of Len's door."_

_Relief washed over Kaito, his body deflating a bit as the tension left him. Gakupo was right after all. Len-kun was just a little under the weather. There was no reason to worry himself sick. Pleased with the reassurance, Kaito smiled cheerfully and bid his friend goodnight before entering his own bedroom._

_As the door to Kaito's room quietly shut, Gakupo turned towards Len's door. His palm rested on the doorknob, and after a few seconds, he gave the handle a gentle twist. It didn't fully turn however, stopping short of a full rotation. A slow grin spread on his lips, but the expression didn't match his eyes - dark plum-colored eyes that were saturated with alarm and desperation._

_He took a step away from the locked door, simply staring at it for a few more moments. At last, he turned away, returning to his room to wait for his beloved Luka._

* * *

Luka was a voice of reason. She was a kind and gentle person, the one that her family came to when they needed advice. With a soothing voice, Luka was willing to provide comfort and guidance and even the occasional scolding. Of course, playing such a parental role could be tiring at times, but pink-haired woman didn't mind. In fact, there was only one drawback; one that hadn't been an issue until now.

Who would be her voice of reason? Because surely, even sweet wonderful Luka needed some guidance on finding the words to say to the man in front of her.

Was this the same Gakupo that she had fallen in love with? He certainly looked the same – the same long violet hair that she liked to braid and play with when she was bored; the same strong capable hands that fit so warmly between her own; the same full lips that kissed her; the same dark plum eyes that looked at her so adoringly. When did he change? Or perhaps he had always been this person, and she'd been to blind to see it.

Yes, after all, the dazzling purple eyes that she loved were the same ones that had worked Kaito up into such an uncontrollable rage. And those gentle smooth lips – those lips parted to impart unwanted, intimate bruises onto Len's skin. Those strong warm hands had held Len down, biting into his skin so tightly. That long feathery hair had probably tickled Len's face as Gakupo thrusted and…

Luka hadn't realized that she was crying until his hands touched her face. Crystalline tears caught on his fingers, and he stared at them, stared at thumb brushing against her cheek. "I'm sorry I made you cry, Luka."

She didn't speak, far too caught up in his words to consider replying at the moment. The words were sweet and genuine, but they were the wrong words to have spoken. How was it possible that her beautiful, twisted Gakupo was capable of such endearing remorse, and yet every drop of it was for the wrong person?

"Why?" A single word escaped her lips, pushing achingly out of her throat. Gakupo was confused. It was clear on his face.

"Because I love you," he answered, assuming that her question was in reference to his previous comment.

"Why?" Luka repeated. This time, the question was louder and more desperate. "Why don't you understand?"

"I do understand!" Gakupo blurted imploringly, reaching to cup Luka's face. "You're upset with me, because I've betrayed you."

"That's not what this is about! It's never been about that, Gakupo!"

The confusion, pure and genuine and nearly childlike, returned. "What is this about then?" The question was reflective, more so for himself than for Luka. After a few seconds, realization washed over him, and he froze. "Len. This is about Len." His lover nodded, and Gakupo sighed, finally moving his hands away from Luka's face. His fingers rose to tightly clench in his long purple strands, tugging in faintly repressed frustration. His eyes watched Luka in an almost pitying fashion. "It's kind of disgusting," he spoke softly, voice barely a whisper, "the way he has all of you fooled. Kaito's the worst, tricked by pretty, empty eyes."

"Wh-what are you saying?"

Another sigh. "It's okay, Luka. I was fooled for so long as well. I thought about not doing it, at first. He seems so naïve and innocent, but I finally understood. Nothing worth loving and cherishing, nothing _real_, could be so perfect and pure. He's sweet and beautiful and caring and _fake_. So it's okay, Luka," he reassured her, tugging her into an embrace as his mouth lowered to be level with her ear. "You don't have to pity him anymore. Len is simply _my plaything_."

* * *

A/N: OH MY GAWSH! Len is sooooo forgiving in my story! Honestly, if I was him, I would punch a bitch *coughGAKUPOcough* (Kaito's got the right idea!). Just sayin'.

Ah! I'm kidding...sorta. I try to remain unbiased towards certain characters in this story (please ignore my previous author's notes in which I cheered on Kaito's mad rad ice cream punching skillz). I also try to remain completely serious about this story...You can see how well that goes for me.

Sooooo...raise your hand if you think Gakupo is crazy! *raises hand* (I'M KIDDING, I SWEAR)

SEE YA NEXT TIME! XD


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Urgh. This chapter was VERY frustrating. I kept throwing in parts and then taking them out and changing them. I thought I was gonna lose my mind. I'm fairly pleased with how it came out though.

**A small note about timing:** I've gotten a little too into these flashback scenes, and as such, they're not really written chronologically. The 3rd flashback in this chapter occurs just before the flashback recounted in chapter 6. I plan on explaining the order of all the flashbacks in the next chapter or two.

Soooo I was looking at my profile today, and I almost thought I was on the wrong page when I saw that this story had **160 reviews**! You guys are AMAZING! I'm probably a little late, but I also just noticed that the number of favorites and follows are also listed. I wanna give a big super mega thanks to the bunches of people that favorites and the people that are following my story. Thanks so much for supporting me and my story!

ENJOY!

* * *

"_I really miss him," Kaito admitted softly. His hands paused on the handle of the ice cream scoop, a shy little smile playing around his lips. "I know it's only been a few days, but still…"_

_Miku nodded in understanding. The blender whirred loudly in the background, so she raised her voice by a few octaves. "Me too. It's nearly been a week, and I don't think Len-kun's any better. I heard Meiko-nee and Luka-nee talking the other day, and I think they want to take Len-kun to the doctor soon. Well, Meiko wants to, anyway. Luka said something that actually has me a little worried, Kaito." A frown creased her normally cheerful face, and Kaito glanced down at her worriedly, completely turning away from the slowly melting tub of ice cream on the counter._

"_What's bothering you, Miku-chan?"_

"_It's just…well…," she stammered, clueless as to where to begin. "I mean…do you think Len-kun needs to be sent away?" she wailed suddenly, a few tears prickling at the corners of her eyes._

_The question alarmed the older man, and he quickly moved to soothe the teenage girl. "Wh-what makes you say that?"_

"_R-rin-chan thinks that something happened to Len-kun, and Luka-nee thinks that he might need some time away from us, but I don't want that to happen!" she blubbered, little tears getting caught in her thick lashes before finally falling onto pale cheeks. "Len-kun's my friend, and I want him to stay here, and Rin-chan will be so sad if he leaves, and so will you and I, Kaito-san!"_

_Sympathetically, the blue-haired singer patted the young girl's hair. "It's okay to be upset, Miku-chan," he assured her soothingly. "You're right, we would be sad if Len had to leave us for a while, but we shouldn't worry so much about what we think he needs. We should try to get him to tell us what he needs, okay? And who knows? Maybe Gakupo's right, and Len's just a little under the weather. Or maybe Rin-chan's right, and he's going through something, but right now we just have to trust that Len knows what he needs."_

"_But how can you stand it, Kaito-san?" the teal-haired girl blurted incredulously. "How can you stand not knowing what's wrong?"_

"_Because I know that when it's time for me to know, Len will tell me." It was the most innocent of things, a single white lie passing between his lips. Miku didn't need to worry any more than she already was. She didn't have to know how much he tossed and turned at night or the way that he sat in his room listening for Len's footsteps. She didn't need to know that he couldn't stop worrying about Len, such to the point that he would forget the ice cream in his hands until it was sticky mess on his fingers or how he'd drift off in thought in the middle of a video game or phone call. So Kaito lied, but it wasn't anything major. Even if his own worries couldn't be diminished, maybe Miku's could._

_Miku grinned at him, cheerful as ever. Guilt twinged at Kaito's heart a bit, but he tried to shove it off. He pushed an answering smile onto his own lips, silently praying that Miku wouldn't see that it didn't reach his eyes._

* * *

Gakupo didn't understand the pained, disappointed expression on Luka's face. Were his words not enough? Was she still too sucked into Len's deceitful spell to understand? He smiled at her as comfortingly as possible. "I know you don't really understand right now, but I've made the best decision for all of us."

To his great delight, Luka placed her hands on the sides of his face, painstakingly tilted his face towards. Turquoise eyes roamed his face, despairing and searching. "Can you just tell me why?" she questioned. Luka smiled, but it was a forlorn weeping expression. "Can you tell me why you did it?"

The inquiry twisted into his heart, rapid and painful. This was something he never wanted to explain to Luka, a truth that he wanted to keep locked away, something that he'd made the mistake of blurting to Len in a moment of wild annoyance. And yet, he found himself unable to deny her anything but the truth when she stared at him with such broken eyes.

"I-I…" he began with difficulty; his voice was nearly inaudible. "I can't tell you how many times I've fought with myself, Luka." The words were harder to voice than he initially thought, and Gakupo found himself unable to meet Luka's gaze. Instead, he shamefully peered at the ground. "Nearly every night, I laid awake, forcing myself not to turn over and…and hurt you! Sometimes I would have to leave the room to calm down. And one night, I saw Len."

* * *

_His breath left his lungs in great, shuddering gasps. He could feel his entire body tremble as his strong hands clenched in his thick violet locks. The follicles pulled at his scalp, but the meager shocks of pain did nothing to pull him out of his aroused, sadistic stupor._

"_Gaku-nii?" the dulcet voice sounded from the open doorway. "Are you okay?"_

_From his kneeling position in the darkened bathroom, Gakupo managed to make out the sight of a familiar boyish silhouette. Len stood in the doorway, clad in sleep shorts and a thin tanktop. Dark violet eyes absorbed the sight of several inches of pale delicious skin. It aroused him further, only adding to the frenzy of his nearly uncontrollable lust. The older male simply stared at the boy._

_Anxiously, Len further stepped into the bathroom, stopping only once he was close enough to touch the purple-haired man. His hand rested on Gakupo's shoulder, gently nudging it as he murmured, "Gaku-nii?" Gakupo shuddered at the sensation, another pang of arousal rocking his body. So much beautiful pale flesh before his eyes, just begging to be teased and bruised. Unconciously, the violet-eyed man licked his lips. Rising to his full height, he clasped his hands around Len's wrists, thumbs rubbing in small circles at incredibly soft skin. The concerned whimper that his actions pulled out of Len didn't deter him._

_No. What gave him pause were Len's eyes. In the darkness of the bathroom, they were no longer that charming aquamarine hue. Instead, to Gakupo's lustful eyes, they were the most fascinating shade of turquoise. A blue-green that reminded him far too much of Luka._

_Blanching, he retracted his hands. They shook a bit as they came to rest at his sides, but only Len noticed this. Worried and curious, he whispered, "Gakupo-san?"_

_Anger, slow and smoldering, ignited within Gakupo. He watched Len's traitorous eyes, furious that they were so unlike their usual color and so similar to hue that he loved. Deceitful, pathetic eyes. And suddenly, Gakupo hated them._

_He lashed out. "Get out," he snarled lowly. Len blinked at him, rather stupidly in Gakupo's opinion. "Get out!" he repeated, a few octaves louder. Those eyes suddenly flashed, betraying alarm and fear. It was until Len slipped out of the bathroom and the door was again firmly shut against its frame that Gakupo realized he like that frightened look in Len's eyes._ _The expression left his heart thrumming wildly, eagerly, within his body. Such beautiful plastic eyes that were meant to be shedding tears._

_Gakupo wanted to be the cause of those tears._

* * *

"_Like a deer in headlights," the violet murmured, long masculine fingers capturing thin wrists. He leaned forward, smashing his lips against tightly closed lips. His tongue parted those lips forcefully, delighted by the teeth that attempted to cinch around his intrusive tongue. He pulled away once more, dark purple eyes roaming the small teenagers. "Go ahead. Scream, Len. They're all downstairs; they'll come running. But you don't want them to see you like this, do you? Shamefully weak."_

_A few cries, mere unintelligible pleas, reached Gakupo's ears, but they failed to break through the lustful haze of his mind. "Tonight," the older man hissed quietly, lips brushing the shell of Len's ear. "We'll have so much fun tonight, Len-kun." A pause arose, in which Miku's ecstatic voice and Kaito's footsteps sounded. "Are you afraid yet?"_

* * *

Rin released her brother from her arms as Kaito and Meiko reentered the living room. No one moved, as they all simply settled for staring at each other uncomfortably. It was a strange moment, in which no one seemed to know what to say. The tumultuous quiet wasn't broken until the front door creaked open. The sound seemed to resonate throughout the house sharply. Luka stepped over the threshold alone.

Her face was ashen as she took in the sight of her family. She drank in this image: Miku nervously toying with her hair; Rin's guilty frown; Len staring firmly at his shoes; Meiko's anxiously twitching hands; Kaito's exhausted, wan expression. And there, beneath their feet, glittering against the fully illuminated sun, were those glass remnants. This was the image that was firmly locked in Luka's head as she spoke.

"Gakupo and I are leaving."

* * *

A/N: WHAAAAT? So, Luka-sama has just dropped a MAJOR bombshell! I wonder what's going on! (I'm joking, I know everything. I am the great and all-knowing Oz)

So, was I the only one saying, "Where the hell was Kaito in this chapter?" Seriously, after his little takeover in chapters 6-8, these small doses of Kaito are not enough for me. (Kaito is perhaps a bit of an attention whore)

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: OH MY GOD!

207 REVIEWS?! *screams* You guys are more than amazing. I swear, I wanna do something awesome for each and every one of you, but I don't know what! AHHH!

Sooooooo, not _too_ long of a wait for this update. I had to write...and rewrite this chapter a couple of times, but I'm pretty pleased with it. Enough chitchat, though! On with the story!

ENJOY, YOU AWESOMELY EPIC PEOPLE!

* * *

As soon as that final syllable escaped her lips, Luka was assaulted by a frenzy of angered shouts and cries of disbelief. Her turquoise eyes flickered from face to face, but the incredulous arguments were an incomprehensible jumble of sound. A despairing little frown morphed onto Miku's rose-colored lips. Meiko seemed confused; Rin's eyes were ablaze with anger and panic. Worst yet, though, seemed to be the disbelieving, betrayed expression that was stamped on Kaito's face.

In the middle of all of them stood Len. Sweet, hurting little Len-chan that she loved like a little brother. Len-chan that looked at her with such strong, supportive gaze – a gaze that left Luka floored.

_He understood_. He wasn't upset with her as she initially feared; quite the opposite, he seemed almost pleased with her decision, and the pink-haired woman was certain that she knew why. They had seen that same frightening madness in Gakupo's eyes, heard those same delusional thoughts that he voiced aloud with such conviction. Luka was tugged out her relieved stupor, though, by Kaito's hollow, accusing voice.

"So that's your choice. You're just going to stay by his side despite what he did." It wasn't a question, rather a bland statement, an empty accepting confirming of facts.

"I-It's not as simple as that, Kaito," Luka argued uncertainly. The sharp, accusing tint in Kaito's eyes was unsettling, and Luka found her voice hesitating and wavering under his stare. "Gakupo needs help. I can't just abandon him when he's like this."

"And what do you hope to accomplish exactly, Luka? You think you can make him feel bad about what he's done, and everything will be fine again? He's ruined everything and that's his fault and his alone; he's ruined everything, and you can't fix things for him. Maybe you're right and something is wrong with Gakupo, but that doesn't change what he did."

To her great surprise, Meiko agreed. "He's right, Luka. Even if he's fixed, that won't solve things."

_Even if he's fixed…_ Such cold, simplistic phrasing, as though Gakupo were merely a broken doll, something less than human. And yet, given that harsh accusing glint in Kaito's eyes and Rin's shaking fists and even the nervous way Meiko stubbornly refused to meet her eyes, Luka couldn't help but wonder if maybe they did see Gakupo as something less than human.

When had things changed? When had Gakupo become this inhuman object that needed to be repaired? Was it when he raped Len? Or was it even sometime before that, a seemingly distant past in which he fought with himself and sadistically gazed upon Luka's body as she slept?

"I'm sorry," Luka said at last. Her head was bowed, and pale pink bangs shadowed her eyes from sight. "I'm sorry, but I can't just turn my back on him." And one by one, they turned their backs on her.

Rin was the first to go; an enraged flush had overtaken her face, and her entire body seemed to tremble. For a wild moment, Luka almost thought the young girl was going to scream at her and hit her, but the blows and the words never came. She merely stormed up the stairs, furious teardrops streaming down her face the entire time.

After her was Meiko. She seemed genuinely lost, and Luka found this alarming. Luka may have been their voice of reason, but Meiko was their leader. In her own raucous way, she kept things in order; she told them what to do and sometimes even how to feel, but she meant well. Meiko was a constant source of strength and consistency and reliability in their lives. But there was that expression, that blank, confused expression like that of a wandering child…it broke Luka's heart.

Miku followed soon after. She was crying openly, and she made no effort to hide it, always wearing her heart on her sleeve. Halfway up the stairs, she paused. "Please don't go, Luka-nee." These were Miku's only words.

She was left with Kaito's intense gaze, and it seemed to pierce through her veins and rock her with guilt. "I thought…you would get it, Luka. I thought that you, out of everyone, would understand the most how much I want Len to be safe."

"I do understand, Kaito! Really, I do, and I want the same thing!"

"No, you don't understand," Kaito argued simply. "If you did, you wouldn't be leaving. You wouldn't be treating Gakupo like he's some kind of victim. You don't understand anything."

The only one left was Len.

His steady aquamarine eyes were an ambivalent mixture of encouragement and sadness. He was her only ally, her only source of support, and Luka was surprised by how much his acceptance of her decision meant to her. She should've been supporting _him_, and yet it was that look in his eyes, the one that seemed to say _It's okay_, that gave her strength. "Do you think I'm making the right decision, Len-kun?"

"If I said no, would that make you change your mind?" the blond vocalist shook his head, not giving her the chance to answer. "What I think doesn't matter. If you think you're doing the right thing, that's all that's important."

How could he say that, Luka wondered. After all, Gakupo thought that he'd made the right decision, but where had that gotten them? It only succeeded in tossing them into this great ambiguous mess with broken hearts, blurred lines, and shattered glass.

Regardless, the pink-haired woman nodded. "Do you…hate me, Len-kun?"

"I could never hate you, Luka-nee. I actually thought…that maybe you hate me, now that you know what happened," he admitted quietly.

Luka approached the fourteen year old. She gently brushed the golden bangs from his eyes, smiling gently. "None of this is your fault, Len, and even if it was, I wouldn't hate you for it. You just…got swept up in something that none of us could've foreseen."

"But…I noticed it, Luka-nee. He was so aggressive lately and –

Luka nodded. "I noticed it too, I think, but hindsight's always 20/20. Neither of us could've known that those small signs would've led to this. Maybe we'll always feel responsible for noticing and not doing anything to help Gakupo and, ultimately, ourselves; but we can forgive ourselves for not doing anything. We can pick up what's left of our lives and move on, but we can't do that until we acknowledge that this awfulness has happened and that it won't break us."

"Have you done that? Is that why you're going to help, Gakupo? So you can move on?"

The smile that pushed itself onto Luka's lips was tiny and regretful. "I haven't done that yet, Len. I feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of what Gakupo's done. I'm not ready to move on yet, but I am ready to help Gakupo move on. I can't…fix him. People aren't toys that can be repaired with glue and nails. But I can help him understand what he's done, and I can help him cope with that. And maybe, after that's all said and done, I can pick up my own remnants and figure out where to go from there."

Len comfortingly clasped Luka's hands, nodding and smiling in understanding. "I believe in you, Luka-nee, and I hope you find your happiness again."

Happiness…that was all she ever wanted, all any of them ever wanted. Just a small piece of that fleeting happiness. It seemed so unreachable now, like a distant dream, but Luka would keep Len's words close to her heart. Discouraging as her current situation was, she would still have Len-kun's distant wish for her happiness to hold onto.

* * *

Betrayal, dark and roiling, raged on within Kaito. In the silence of his room, his long fingers twisted in his hair, clenching as he thought of Luka's words.

_Gakupo and I are leaving…_

_Gakupo and I are leaving…_

_Gakupo and I…_

Knuckles lightly pressed against the door in a hesitant knock, and Kaito lifted his head to see Len standing in the door – yes, sweet forgiving Len-kun, who he loved more than anyone else; Len-kun, whose safety he wanted more than anything; Len-kun, who he couldn't love.

"Onii-chan?"

That nickname was a barrier, just another reminder that the wonderful, infinite love he felt for Len was _wrong_. What was he to do with these feelings, then? Could he simply toss them away, forget they ever existed? Could he only be Len's onii-chan?

Thin childlike hands threaded themselves into his hair. Kaito jumped at the sensation, though he quickly relaxed as the hands soothingly carded themselves through his tangled blue hair. His eyes fluttered shut as the tension left his body. Len was quietly humming something soft and aimless. It was nice to just be with Len, to enjoy his presence and breathe him in.

An urge made itself known, pressing itself against Kaito's lips. He bit back the words, though they threatened at the tip of his tongue, begging to be released. He wanted to say them more than anything, and he wanted the feelings behind them to reach Len. The older man wasn't content with mumbling them or whispering them; he wanted Len to hear them and understand.

_I love you!_

Abruptly, Kaito pulled himself away from Len, delicate hands ripping against his hair as he did so. The pain didn't register, as the indigo-eyed man was far too busy nudging the younger blond away and clenching his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to see those dazzling aquamarine eyes.

"Kaito-nii?"

Kaito groaned, "Please, Len, don't call me that." _Don't increase the distance between us. Don't remind me of this._ He hunched over from his position on the bed, staring at the carpet as though it held all of the answers to his problems. Maybe, in an ideal world, all of his anger and heartache could be sucked into that pale brown carpet – all of it: Luka's betrayal, Gakupo's lust, Len's tears – maybe all of it could just fade away.

Len's disheartened voice shoved Kaito out of his self-loathing stupor. "Please don't push me away, Kaito. I won't bother you, and I'll stay out of your way, but please don't leave me alone."

Dark indigo eyes darted upwards guiltily. He was being selfish, thinking only of his own inner turmoil, but he had Len to think about. The fourteen year old had been through so much, too much, and yet Kaito had been content to mope and wallow in his own disgusting thoughts.

Taking Kaito's silence as some form of denial, Len frowned and moved towards the door. "I'm sorry, I'm being selfish. You need some time to yourself." His hand grasped the doorknob, opening the door, and in two quick strides, Kaito was behind him, carefully pulling Len into his arms as his thoughts raced.

_I love you. I'm disgusting and perverted, and I shouldn't want anything from you, Len, but I do. You don't have to love me back, just please understand my feelings. _

"Stay with me."

Kaito closed the door.

* * *

A/N: So, Luka's leaving and Kaito's angsty. Those are always good notes to end a chapter on...

I really like this idea of Gakupo and Len both being thought of by dolls. It's kinda like karma: Gakupo thought of Len as something less than human, not Kaito and the others see Gakupo as inhuman.

Ahhh! Poor Kaito! I want so badly for him to be super happy; who knows if it's gonna work out that way, though. It's like the more he whores his way into my chapters, the unhappier he becomes *stares firmly at Kaito* So stop stealing the show; the others need a chance to shine too.

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Ohmygosh, you guys. Long time, no update, huh?

Urgh, I've been busy with college. It's an unfortunte but very important aspect of my life, so it's not like I can ignore it *sighs* So much work; and being so far from home makes it even harder to deal with.

But enough about me! This chapter is all about you peeps; yes, you wonderful people that have blessed me with 217 reviews and a bunches of favorites and follows that I'm too lazy/tired to fully mention right now. I wish I had updated this last week, you know, when people actually had time to read, but oh well. You guys will get around to my lil old story eventually.

BTW, BEGINNING PART IS A FLASHBACK (I am obsessed with these things -_-)

ENJOY!

* * *

_When they entered the house, the first thing Miku noticed was the silence. Their house was never quiet, so this eerie absence of noise was certainly an abnormality. She quickly reminded herself that Len-kun had a tummy ache, and Gaku-nii was probably watching over him as he rested, and with that her worries were erased._

_The teal-haired diva watched as Rin and Kaito bolted up the stairs. Rin was eagerly humming and skipping, and Kaito was equally energetic, both of them clearly pleased to present Len with the banana popsicles that they'd brought home for him. Meiko's annoyed voice overlapped their eager cries, "Stop all that damn yelling! And don't run up the stairs!" Miku smiled and pranced over to the living room where her newest figurine was proudly displayed on the coffee table, with its blue-green ponytails sprawling through the wind. She sat on the couch, grinning at the perfectly etched headphones and billowing skirt for a moment, before turning on the television._

_At some point the diva fell asleep, ignorant to Rin's nervous hovering outside of Len's door and Gakupo's smooth reassurances. Miku awoke several hours later to a darkened house. The living room was pitch black, its only light source being the illuminated television. Groggy teal eyes stared at the screen briefly, half-heartedly watching a commercial for orange juice as she worked up the energy to head up stairs to her bedroom. The sixteen year old pushed herself off of the couch and slowly trudged up the stairs, her boots hitting each step with a heavy thud. Miku shuffled tiredly down the hallway, though she paused as the sound of light, nearly imperceptible whimpers hit her ears. The sound seemed to be originating from the bathroom, and she ambled towards the closed door, chewing at her full bottom lip worriedly as she went. Her hand curved around the handle and turned, but the door didn't open._

"_Hello?"_

_At the sound of her voice, the sobs ceased, and Miku could almost hear the person gasp and slap a palm over their mouth to keep quiet. She knew that they were there, though. It didn't really matter who was on the other side of that door. She only knew that it was someone she loved and cared for, and that someone was upset._

"_Are you sad?" she questioned softly, sinking to her knees, ear pressed to the door. "It's okay if you are." The person didn't reply, but Miku didn't mind. Muffled sobs tried to escape their lips but that thin pale hand held them back._

"_It's okay," the female vocalist soothed. "You can cry if you want. I'm here. You're not alone." Miku listened to the great racking sobs that seeped out of the bathroom, and she sleepily listened to them, her feminine palm rubbing the door as though she were comfortingly rubbing the back of a friend. She felt sad for the person on the other side of the door, but she was also happy that she was able to be there for them. She stayed and listened, and for each and every broken cry that she heard, her palm rubbed the door. She did this until the sobs ceased and she could no longer keep her eyes open._

Clearly, as though it were merely yesterday, Kaito could recall his last day of happiness with Len. It was exactly two days prior to the release of Miku's precious new figurine, and a rainstorm, swift and sudden, befell the city, leaving Kaito stuck inside with a very sullen, pouting Len.

Yes, he could almost perfectly recall the shape of Len's mouth, pulled into an adorable frown as he watched the rain plummet to the earth from the large window in the living room. Angry and disappointed, the blond had turned to Kaito, who was pleasantly watching television and eating ice cream. "Onii-chan!" the fourteen year old whined, a spoiled yet cute cry that brought a smile to the blue-haired man's lips. "I want to go outside!"

Such a simple wish that had Kaito grinning like a fool. Now, though, the memory of Len's disgruntled tone and the adorable furrow in his brow only left a sick, acidic feeling in his stomach. Kaito wasn't sure why, though. Was it because of his own delightful, cooing thoughts towards a boy several years younger than himself? Or was it because it felt as though a lifetime had passed between now and then, and he would give anything to hear that whining childish tone once more?

_If only the past two weeks could be erased,_ the indigo-eyed singer mused as he lightly tugged on Len's wrist. How different would their lives be if that awful had never occurred? Would he be eating banana popsicles with Len, content with being his "big brother" and nothing more?

"Kaito," Len murmured as they approached the bed, and it was then that Kaito realized he had not spoken, rather held the blond's delicate wrist in his hands and stared off at the wall.

"Kaito," he whispered once more, and the twenty year old couldn't help but delight at the sound. His name sounded wonderful coming from Len's mouth, despite the hesitant little waver that accompanied it. It seemed that anything would sound amazing if it was spoken by Len's high little melodic voice. Why hadn't he noticed until now? That childish nickname, onii-chan, never sounded this sweet, and Kaito realized that he only wanted to hear Len say his name. Not "Kaito-nii" or "Kaito-san", just Kaito with an audible hint of a smile present in his tone.

The older man was forced out of his semi-pleasant thoughts by thin warm arms wrapping themselves around his shoulders. Gently, words were whispered against the skin of his neck, and Kaito shivered delightedly at the sensation. "Thank you."

"For what?" the blue-haired vocalist mumbled, gazing at the strands of gold that just barely teased the edge of his vision.

"For being so wonderful to me. I-I told you…" the hitching in Len's voice almost made Kaito glad that he couldn't see the sadness in those pretty aquamarine eyes. "I told you everything that happened, and you didn't turn away from me. You take such wonderful care of me, Kaito."

What a lie. Yes, Kaito took care of Len now, after it was all said and done, but not when it really mattered. Where had he been when Gakupo raped Len? What had he been doing as Len quietly screamed and sobbed? How could Len say that Kaito took care of him – that any of them took care of him – when the blue-haired man had been simply lying in bed, listening to nonexistent footsteps, as Len pleaded for his purity? The realization brought tears to his eyes. All of them – Rin, Meiko, Miku, Kaito himself – they were all just as guilty as Gakupo. Because even though they didn't bruise his skin or evade his body, they hadn't done anything to stop it. They hadn't kicked down the door; they hadn't wondered why Gakupo was the only one allowed to see Len. They simply waited with baited breath outside of Len's door. They were fools, plain and simple, and Len suffered as a result. And Kaito, oblivious childish Shion Kaito, was the biggest fool of them all, unable to protect the very boy he hated himself for loving.

The very boy that was his world.

The cerulean-eyed singer didn't say any of this aloud. Instead, he forced the corners of his lips up into a hollow smile, averting his eyes so Len wouldn't see the guilt within them. Faintly, the twenty year old nodded. "There's no need to thank me." _I haven't helped you in anyway. If anything, I've failed you, made things more difficult for you. My hastiness, my stupid emotions – they just forced your hand, and Luka's. _"I'll always be here to take care of you." _I can only move forward, Len, for your sake and everyone else's. I hate being so useless. Never again…_

The thought remained unfinished, left floating incompletely out of Kaito's head. Amazing how one simple action could eradicate all thought from his mind. Yes, such was the power of Len's allure. It only took a pair of small warm arms wrapping around his neck and shy gentle lips brushing against his own to rob Kaito of his ability to think.

It was a pathetic kiss, a nervous meeting of mouths, but to Kaito it was the most wonderful sensation in the world. Like the first bite of an ice cream cone, hesitant and easy but still jarring nonetheless. However, tasting ice cream never made Kaito hate himself.

Len pulled away, cheeks flushing adorably. The older man found himself a bit lost and dazed, far too focused on the reflection of himself with those large aquamarine eyes. How did Len see him? He couldn't help but wonder. Did the blond boy see the personal disgust and self-loathing within Kaito's eyes? Or was he still too naïve to understand such things?

"Why?" Kaito croaked hoarsely; that kiss was far too light to elicit such a roughness in onii-chan's voice. Len couldn't help but wonder about it.

"D-didn't Kaito-nii want me to kiss him?" the teenager stuttered. "Your eyes…I can't describe how they looked, but…Kaito wanted me to kiss him."

Large cold hands clasped Len's shoulders, and the dark indigo eyes before him held a gravity the delicate singer had never seen from the older man before. "Listen to me carefully, Len-kun. No matter what you see in my eyes, you must never do something like that again. Understand?"

Len truly hated Kaito's tone. It was that of an adult speaking to a small child who did not understand. For a brief moment, before he kissed Kaito, it felt like they were equals. Sad and lost and hurt and so very confused, but equals. Not Len-kun and Kaito-nii. Just Len and Kaito. "But what if I wanted to kiss you?"

Blue hair swayed as the older man shook his head. "That doesn't matter. You must never do that again. Besides, you're too young to understand what you want."

"Stop treating me like a child! I understand my own feelings, Kaito! I know that I love you more than anything!"

"But you _are_ a child," Kaito protested quietly, unable to meet the angry pale blue eyes before him, "and I'm much older than you. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you'll understand why that…kiss can never happen again."

Len argued hotly, face aflame. "Age is just a number. It doesn't matter. I love you, and…and…I know you love me too!"

Angry and upset, Kaito bolted to his feet, eyes serious and imploring. Why did Len have to make this so difficult?! Was this his punishment for not protecting Len? He would be forced to face his feelings too soon, forced to break the blond's heart, all for the sake of not hurting him? What sort of twisted logic was that? Kaito was furious with himself, for being so weak; with Len, for loving him; with Luka, for leaving; with Gakupo, for being the sick sadistic catalyst that made Kaito realize just how much he loved the beautiful underage boy in front of him. "God, could you just think for a moment, Len?! You don't understand how serious this is!" The anger seeped, a dark frustrated thing that Kaito couldn't control. "What if you said something like that to someone like Gakupo?! It's like an invitation!"

Air left Kaito's lungs in great furious pants, and as his anger cooled, he understood the implications of his words. The tiniest phrase resting underneath them but left unsaid.

_You're asking for it._

"You're right." The tone took Kaito by surprise. It was audible and unblemished, and surprisingly, there were no tears in Len's eyes or sobs in his voice. Those clear aquamarine orbs were bland and void of life. "Someone like that would take advantage of me. But I didn't tell someone like Gakupo. I told you, Kaito."

* * *

A/N: Sooooo, Kaito's kind of an ass in this chapter, though rather unintentionally. It seems that my sleepiness has made me rather cranky, and as a result, Kaito has said some things that I kinda didn't initially plan for him to say... Kaito's the only person who would ever complain about having Len's love. If it was me, I'd be like screw pedophelia, KAGAMINE FREAKIN' LEN IS IN LOVE WITH ME!

I will (hopefully) update in a few weeks, once finals and major projects are over.

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I'm updating, you guys! I have finished finals, and I have (just barely) survived my first semester of college! YAY!

Sooooo, this chapter was shorter than I initially intended, but I got so excited! I just had to post it.

Disclaimer: Heartache-chan does not own Vocaloid.

ENJOY!

* * *

For about the third time in the past several minutes, a garment slipped from Luka's hands. As she packed, her hands seemed to tremble uncontrollably. She scooped up the fallen shirt, slowly folding it before placing it in the large suitcase that rested on the bed.

That was it. There was nothing more to be packed; her and Gakupo's belongings fit into a single bag. Luka packed only the essentials – photos remained in their frames, dramatic performance clothing stayed on the racks. Packing clothing was the hardest part: how long would they be gone? A week? A month? A year? Even longer than that? The pink-haired vocalist chose not to dwell on such things. She merely packed what could comfortably fit in one suitcase.

Luka closed the bag and zipped it. It was time to say goodbye.

Her family was angry with her for her decision, but Luka didn't want to leave remembering tears in Miku's eyes or that betrayed frown on Kaito's face. She instead wanted to remember ruffling Rin's hair and Meiko's almost motherly warnings and Len-kun's smile.

She stopped at Miku's room first, and to her great surprise the young diva was not alone. Rin sat on the pale green comforter, teeth clenched angrily. Miku was calmly rubbing the blond's back, urging her to relax, and Meiko sat on Rin's left, speaking to her with a softness Luka hadn't known she was capable of. The three of them looked up, equally surprised to see the woman standing in the doorway. Almost instantaneously, Miku bolted to her feet, throwing herself into Luka's already open arms. Thin arms squeezed her curvy waist tightly, as though holding the older woman tightly enough would keep her from leaving.

Meiko stood as well, slowly approaching the pair. Her warm hand fell on Luka's shoulder. "I don't want to argue with you, so I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do. Just…take care of yourself." Her tone left no room for questions, as the statement was less of a hope for Luka's wellbeing and more of a command. The no-nonsense tone brought a smile to the pink-haired woman's lips. _Typical Meiko_.

It was difficult to meet Rin's eyes. They were mirror images of Len's, and the anger within them made them even more difficult to face. As Rin stood and approached her, Luka found herself firmly staring at long teal twintails that were firmly perched on Miku's head. With a slight nudge from Rin, the sixteen year old diva pulled herself away from the woman, slowly, regretfully.

Rin embraced the pink-haired singer tightly. The ferocity of the young girl's hug surprised her, but Luka returned it just as tightly. She buried her face in Rin's shoulder, willing herself not to cry, not to regret this.

A warm breath eased itself across the skin of Luka's shoulder, before Rin finally spoke. In retrospect, she should've known that this was too good to be true. Rin's understanding couldn't be so easily earned, and yet Luka was desperate to believe that the blond girl understood and forgave her. The words that were murmured softly left a sick coldness in the older woman's stomach. They were gentle, meant for her ears alone, and the tone with which they were spoken was void of malice.

"It should've been you."

* * *

"Or maybe, I'm wrong. Am I wrong, Kaito?" Len asked, clear and desperate. "It seems that I'm not a good judge of character." Before Kaito could reply, backtrack and swallow his words, three subtle knocks hit the door. Luka entered, her face paler than either of them had ever seen it. She smiled wanly.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything," she apologized with a chagrined expression. "It's just…I… I needed to talk to you before I left, Kaito." With an understanding nod, Len slipped out of the room, reassuringly squeezing Luka's hand as he left.

"You're angry with me," the pale-haired woman began. She was pale, far paler than was natural, and her hands seemed to tremble as they dug into deep denim of her jeans. Instinctively, Kaito was concerned, and kind words rose to his lips. His dark blue eyes soon landed on the large suitcase hovering just within the doorway, and the words died on his lips. "You're angry with me," she repeated, "but I understand. I know why you're angry with me, and you have every right to be. But you have to understand. I'm not choosing Gakupo over Len, and I'm condoning what he's done. And…I'm not going to change my mind about this decision."

Lowly and bitterly, Kaito snorted, his tone anything but amused. "Everything's so messed up right now, isn't it, Luka? Just a few days ago, I thought you would be my only ally. I thought that you would stay and help Len. But you know what's even more messed up? The fact that I'm so selfish. The fact that I feel like I need someone to hold me together too, and that I wanted you to be that person. The fact that I'm useless to Len and useless to myself." With a rough sigh, Kaito laid back on his bed, focused intently on the swirling white paint of his ceiling. "I love him a lot," the blue-haired man admitted quietly. "I love him in ways that I shouldn't."

"Please, Kaito," Luka murmured dejectedly. "Please don't put that on Len. Not now."

Another hollow chuckle. "Why shouldn't I? Are you afraid that I'll treat him like Gakupo did? You wouldn't be the only one. I'm not even sure if I should trust myself. Maybe you should take me away too. Would that help? Or would I just find my way back? My world always seems to gravitate around Kagamine Len." Roughly, a shaking hand carded itself through his hair.

Feminine hands dug further into the fabric of her pants. "That's not what I mean. There's nothing wrong with loving Len. I just don't think he can handle a confession on top of everything else."

_Neither can I._ Kaito kept the thought to himself. Sitting up, his blue eyes bore into Luka's. "Hey. Do you…do you think he loves me?"

"I think he loves you more than either of you can handle right now."

Kaito simply nodded.

"This…this isn't how I wanted our last conversation to go," Luka admitted, toying with silky strands of her pink hair, "but I think we both said some things we needed to. I hope that one day we'll meet again under better circumstances." She turned to leave, fingers still tightly clenched. Hesitantly, though, the turquoise-eyed woman paused in the doorway, thoughts racing. Finally, they built up and she spoke, blurting what she desperately wanted to ask.

"Do you think it should've been me? Should I have been the one that Gakupo raped?"

Indigo eyes widened, but Kaito quickly shook his head despite Luka's back being turned. "It shouldn't have been anyone."

A nod. "Would you have rather it been me instead of Len?"

"Luka…"

"Just answer, Kaito."

A pause and then, "Yes."

Slowly her fingers detached themselves from her jeans, carefully wrapping around the handle of her suitcase. These were the last words they spoke to one another.

* * *

_The fluidity of his motions seemed unnatural – too sensual, too confident for his normal gait. With sure, graceful steps, he approached; his footfalls were tinged with a predatory strength. Within seconds, he caught the young boy by surprise. Large, elegant hands covered the blond's eyes almost playfully, but the smirk on his face seemed to give away his actions._

_He shifted once more, nudging his prey onto the bed. As he watched the young boy, his eyes seemed to dance between deep infallible violet and endless blue. As his lips traveled up a patch of smooth unblemished skin, the shift in color stopped. With a definitive flutter of his eyelids, the irises remained firmly indigo._

_The boy cried, and lips traveled to his collarbone, parting to reveal perfect teeth and an eager tongue. Together, the appendages eased their way down the young boy's body, pausing against patches of skin that pleased them. Graceful fingers, digits that danced against piano keys and guitar strings, rose to join them, pinching and squeezing and __**loving**__ the body beneath them. Perfectly shaped ears drank in sounds of fear; screams traveled through his body, racking his soul and settling pleasure inside of him. How eager he was to show his darling just how very much he __**loved**__ him._

_Hands nudged creamy thighs apart, and his weight settled in between him. Small hands pushed at his shoulders, clawing and twisting into his skin to the point of pain. He didn't mind, for he was eager to feel those hands against him._

_Quickly and certainly, he entered. A gasp, staggered and low, pulled itself from his mouth. He thrusted in tandem with his love's quickened heartbeat, savoring the wonderful tightness around him. He tipped his head back in pleasure; as he did so, his long flowing hair seemed to grow darker and shorter. And when he'd finally had his fill and had released into the body beneath him, it was short and the color of the darkest ocean. "Say my name, Len," he pleaded, his arms wrapped around the blond soothingly…_

_**Lovingly…**_

_Choked, panicked gasps for air left his mouth, and the name that slipped between his lips was engulfed in a sob._

"_Kaito!"_

* * *

A/N: WHAT WHAT WHAAAAT?! I can hear the cries of confusion and outrage now. So, yes, I totally just followed the Luka-Kaito conversation with this totally bizarre scene that seems very out of place. Everything happens for a reason, though.

So what is this? Is it a memory? Is it a dream? A premonition? Reality? I know, but I can't wait to hear what you guys think. I'm so curious as to how you guys feel about this scene. It came out exactly how I wanted it to!

Ahhh, this chapter flowed REALLY awfully, but I (sorta) intended for that to happen, at least towards the end. Anyways, only chapter 14 shall reveal what the ham sandwich is going on!

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Ahhhh, it's been so long! Much has happened in my life, my dear readers, but that is neither here nor there!

Thanks a TON for the wonderful reviews and favorites and follows! We have reached (drumroll, please!) 258 reviews! YOU GUYS ARE SO DARN AWESOME!

Hmmm, so what to say about this chapter? A tiny little conversation that I only planned to take up, like, a fifth of this chapter, ends up taking up over _half_ the chapter. I would normally apologize, but I think it's pretty interesting, especially since it involves Miku.

ENJOY!

* * *

When he awoke, he thought he was choking.

His throat felt constricted, and he desperately gasped for air, clawing at his own chest as though that would fill his lungs with oxygen. Gentle footsteps pounded down the hallway at a rapid pace. His bedroom door was flung open, but he refused to look up as Miku burst into the room. "Kaito!" she cried, immediately moving to rub his back as his constricting lungs finally relaxed and his desperate gasps eased into meager coughs. "It's okay," she soothed, resting her messy teal head against his shoulder. Kaito was suddenly aware that his room was dark, pale moonlight filtering in the through the window. Absently, he wondered if Luka and Gakupo had left already.

As though reading his mind, Miku replied," Luka-nee and Gaku-nii left a few hours ago. Speaking of which, onee-chan left something for you." A smooth delicate hand was extended, a thick white envelope trapped between two fingers. On the outside of the creamy paper was a sentence written in elegant flowing script. _For Kaito, please read in private_.

With barely shaking hands, Kaito accepted the envelope, carefully placing it on the bedside table. All the while, Miku ran comforting fingers through his hair, speaking quietly as she did so. Half listening, Kaito focused on the quietness of her voice. It was soft and lyrical, and far less eager than he'd ever heard it. He missed the easy excitability of her voice, and the cheerful smile that was just purely _Miku_. He didn't like her somber tones or the focused furrow of her brow that betrayed her far away thoughts.

He didn't like that she was different.

Kaito suddenly spoke, "H-how," he took a moment to clear his throat, surprised by how hoarse it was, "how are you? A lot has happened today, and it seems like no one has taken the time to see how you're holding up."

To his great surprise, the teal haired diva laughed, quietly but just as bubbly as she normally did. "It's okay, Kaito. Len's the main focus here. How I'm feeling isn't all that important right now."

"That's not true…"

"It is," she contested softly, the movements of her soothing hand momentarily ceasing. Her index finger curled over a lock of deep blue hair, staring at the strands as though it held all of the answers in life. "Len-kun's suffering right now; you're trying to help him; Rin-chan's upset; Meiko-nee's too paralyzed to do anything; Luka left, and Gaku-nii doesn't understand. I'm the only one left. That's why I'm here with you, Kaito. I don't know where else to start, where to pick up the pieces. You're fixing Len, so the least I can do is fix you."

Miku's words left him speechless, and rather than desperately searching for a reply, Kaito simply nodded. For the span of several minutes, they sat together in silence, the only sound in the room being Miku's aimless humming as she soothingly carded her slender fingers through the older man's hair. "Miku," Kaito whispered suddenly, "do you think…"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think," he began again, "deep down inside we can really want something, no matter how much it really hurts? Can people really want something even if the idea of it upsets them or makes them hate themselves?"

The diva ceased her humming and her soothing caresses paused as she carefully thought over Kaito's words. "Yes. You'll probably disagree with me, Kaito-san, but I think Gaku-nii didn't really want to hurt Len-kun." She paused before continuing, "Or anyone for that matter." Unconsciously, Kaito's fingers tightened and curled into the thick fabric of the indigo comforter.

Those words made him angry. If he was to take Miku's statement to heart, then Gakupo was merely a victim of his circumstances, just as much a martyr succumbing to unwanted lust as Len is. And if that was the case, he would have no one to hate, no one to blame. No one to shove all of his confusion, frustration, and disgust towards. And if he had to hold it all in, bottle it up, and sit with the feelings, where would he be then?

Miku's tentative voice quivered its way through the silence, briefly dissolving Kaito's tremulous train of thought. "He just made a mistake, Kaito-nii."

Fury seeped through the indigo-eyed man's narrow gaze. "Making a mistake is stepping on someone's toe or leaving the ice cream out for too long. What Gakupo did was more than a mistake, Miku. Don't try to downplay his actions, or belittle what Len went through. For Len, this will never just be a mistake. He has to wake up every morning and see those terrible bruises. He has to watch all of us fall apart around him in our pathetic attempts to help him. He has to live with these memories for the rest of his life. Gakupo ruined everything." Kaito surmised his rant over frustrated heavy breaths, "So don't just call this a mistake."

"Len's stronger than you think," the teal-haired diva mumbled, her musical voice no higher than a whisper. "You talk about him like he's this broken little doll on the verge of collapse, and we're all fumbling to keep him upright, but he's so much stronger than that, Kaito. You're right, he is going to have to live with these memories. But one day, that's all they'll be. A collection of memories."

She took a breath, "You have every right to be angry with Gakupo, but try to see things for what they are, Kaito-nii! Gaku-nii isn't some monster –

Swift and full of anger, the dark-eyed vocalist bolted to his feet, eyes shadow by deep indigo hair as he towered over Miku. "How?" he hissed in a sharp whisper, though his voice was thick and full of sorrow. "How can you sit there and call him Gaku-nii, like he's still someone precious to you?" In the darkness of the room, tears tumbled down pale angled cheeks. "He's a _rapist_."

"He's our brother!" Miku blurted, voice equally anguished. Her vocal chords cracked over the final word, and her wide teal eyes darted back and forth, searching Kaito's face for something other than anger. "How can you forget that? How can you continuously refuse to see that? Are you really that hurt?"

"Are _you_ really that blind?" the taller man countered. "Stop living in this little fantasy, Miku. Grow up and see him for the sick bastard that he really is."

A delicate manicured hand reached out in the darkness, hitting flesh with a resounding smack. Soundlessly, Kaito winced, his cheek burning and stinging violently from Miku's slap. His eyes and ears strained in the darkness, carefully watching her face as she spoke over shuddering gasps and sobs. "You're the one that needs to grow up. Stop pointing the finger and wallowing in this angst, and see things for what they really are! Our family hasn't been destroyed. We've fumbled, but we're going to come out on the other side together. Gaku-nii included."

This was not the first time she and Gakupo had traveled together. As performers, they had often spent time on the road with each other, and Luka had loved their travels. It had always been filled with teasing remarks and laughter. And once they were a couple, gentle embraces and passionate kisses had occupied the experience as well. This, however, was cold and uncomfortable. Her hands were stoically locked onto the steering wheel, and Gakupo's remained firmly clutched against his knees. His dark violet eyes were solidly fixated on the outside world, and he steadfastly ignored the uncertain turquoise eyes that would periodically flicker in his direction.

As she drove, Luka allowed her mind to wander. How were the others? She had left them in quite a mess. Though Len seemed to be getting a bit stronger, Kaito was falling apart, tearing himself up over love. The pink-haired woman sighed. Did Kaito really love Len as he claimed he did?

Horrible events have a way of bringing people together, and Kaito was clearly the only person Len confided in, at least as far as this incident was concerned. Luka couldn't help but wonder how long he'd known. Was it something he'd discovered only minutes before he confronted Gakupo? Or had he known from the very beginning?

How long had Kaito had to sit with this terrible knowledge? How many nights had he held Len and reassured him? How long did it take him to explode?

In fact, how long _had_ Gakupo been hurting Len? It seemed that there was still so much she didn't know. Gaping holes in the story, and Luka wasn't certain if she was really ready to have them filled. She pushed such thoughts away. If she truly was going to help Gakupo, she had to listen to every horror he told her without shying away.

Next to her, her violet lover cleared his throat, snatching Luka's attention away from her errant thoughts. "This probably isn't any of my business," he hedged uncertainly, "but what did you give Miku before we left?"

The question caught the beautiful woman off guard. Imperceptibly, her fingers flexed against the steering wheel. She had no idea that Gakupo had seen her exchange with the distraught sixteen year old.

After her conversation with Kaito, Luka intended to simply leave. She slipped down the staircase quietly; with every footstep, she could recall his twisted bitter expression and the desperate frown that it morphed into. Further and further down the staircase she went, her thoughts filled with his bitterness and desperation. She couldn't leave Kaito. Not like this.

So she wrote the letter. She stood in the kitchen, silently begging her shaking hands to still as she penned out her final words to her dear brother. And as she wrote, tears fell down Luka's face. How had she ever thought that pathetic conversation was enough? There was so much more she should've said. Once finished, the note was carefully sealed in an envelope. On its outside, she wrote in perfect Japanese: _For Kaito, please read in private_.

Luka had intended to slip it into the mailbox, but Miku had stopped her. The teal-haired singer was the only one who'd come to see her off. Luka had pressed the letter into her hand and tightly embraced her. With her lips level with the younger girl's ear, she whispered advice, love, and a careful set of instructions. Those words were both precious and a burden, and Luka wouldn't share them with anyone else. They simultaneously pleased the older woman and filled her with regret. That pleasure and regret, that precious love and that burden…these things were only for Miku.

Briefly turning away from the road, Luka smiled at Gakupo and answered, "Nothing important."

* * *

A/N: Ahhh, Heartache-sama has created more questions for her readers! What on earth is in that letter? And what the hell did Luka say to Miku? Only time (and subsequent chapters) will tell.

I have some really interesting things planned for these next few chapters, so I'll kinda tease you with some little hints. So here's some of the things that shall be happening in the next...hmm, five chapters or so. Contrary to what it seems, Luka is not just aimlessly driving! They're headed somewhere! And that magical mysterious location involves the introduction of some other Vocaloids! Also, Kaito and co. and FINALLY going to discuss just what the hell they're going to do, and that conversation has some interesting consequences for Len _and_ Gakupo. And, most surprisingly of all, there's going to be rape, my dears. It ain't gonna be part of flashback.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Oh my goodness. It's been way too long, you guys.

So, my life has been crazy, but you guys don't want to hear about that! Time for the story, my dears!

**DISCLAIMER:** Heartache-sama does not own Vocaloid.

ENJOY!

* * *

Len couldn't sleep.

If he closed his eyes, even if only for a few seconds, he was assaulted. Memories of Gakupo's sharp eggplant-colored eyes and strong violent hands haunted his thoughts. He tried chasing away the images by thinking of Kaito, but soon thoughts of Kaito's warm smile and caring blue eyes turned into thoughts of Kaito's sharp glare and loud voice and accusing words.

Even with his eyes open, the blonde wasn't safe. He could only blandly stare at himself if the mirror, allow his eyes to roam around his bruised face. And when his gaze trailed down the rest of his body, he could only remember the painful burning path of Gakupo's hands against him. The memory left him breathless for awhile, air desperately trapped in his lungs as he stared wide-eyed at his reflection, fear and panic filling his normally gentle aqua eyes, as though the rape was happening all over again. Even once he wrapped the thick sunshine yellow comforter around his body, he could still his own panicked face in the mirror.

What had happened to the strength he had slowly began to regain a few hours ago? The warmth he felt as his sister embraced? The bravery he'd shown when Luka left? The passion and intensity he displayed as he tried to make Kaito understand the depths of their love for one another? Now that it was just Len, by himself, why was he so weak?

He didn't want to see the frightened boy that stared at him in the mirror. He wanted to see the Len that pouted when Rin pulled his hair and teased him for eating so many bananas; the Len that fell for Miku's sweet guilt-inducing smiles and regretfully tasted her mysterious vegetable concoctions; the Len that crawled into Kaito's bed after he had a nightmare and buried his face into the older man's chest. Where was that Len?

As his thoughts ran rampant, the fourteen year old was suddenly aware of an intense desire. In spite of the angry cruel words Kaito had thrown at him earlier, Len wanted the older man more than anything. It was strong emotional desire that seeped through his body, like a sweet loving sort of pain. The blonde didn't give himself enough time to truly think over his desires, to question if going to Kaito was a good idea. He simply stood, pausing long enough to adjust the blanket on his shoulders before slipping out of his room and heading down the hall.

Kaito's door stood before him. Even in the darkness, the silver door handle glistened, glimmering up at him teasingly. Len rested his palm against the icy cold metal, gathering the courage to grip the handle and open the door. He knew that he should knock, but fear steered him away from manners and pleasantries. If he knocked, Kaito could turn him away. Kaito could reject him. Kaito could call him a pathetic slut who fell prey to Gakupo's whims. Kaito could remind him that he was practically begging to be hurt again…

"You're the one that needs to grow up. Stop pointing the finger and wallowing in this angst, and see things for what they really are! Our family hasn't been destroyed. We've fumbled, but we're going to come out on the other side together. Gaku-nii included," Miku's delicate, frustrated voice cut through Len's thoughts. Silence followed her statement, flooding Len's ears. He leaned against the door, pressed the shell of his ear against the wood.

"Then what do you expect me to do?" Kaito's quiet trembling voice filtered through the door. It sounded as though he was crying, and Len found himself fighting the urge to cry as he heard his onii-chan's tear-thickened voice. "Just say that this was all an accident? That it's no one's fault? How can I tell myself that, Miku? We're _all_ to blame. Why did we go get ice cream that day? Why did your damn figurine have to be released? Why didn't we knock down Len's door? Why did we let Gakupo placate us? Why didn't we notice something was wrong with him, that he was fighting something back? Why didn't I open Len's door? _Why didn't I open the door_?"

And with that, Kaito sobbed. "I let him down, Miku. I promised I would always take care of him and protect him, but I let him down. He was being hurt, and I was right next door. And what did I do? I sang songs outside his door like that would make a difference! I couldn't save him. And if that wasn't enough, I rejected him! I love him, so much, more than ice cream, more than singing, more than anything. I watched him cry and hold in that burden, and through all of that I fell in love with him! Or was I in love with him all along? Was I always this sick, disgusting person that loves him? And I couldn't even tell him that! I couldn't tell him how much I love his smile or his eyes; his hair and his toes and his skin and his lips and his voice and the very air he breathes. I insulted him; I _lied_ to him. So that's why I have to blame Gakupo, Miku. That's why I hate him. Because, somehow, he made me this crazy deplorable person that loves Kagamine Len."

The world was blurred. One moment Len was staring at the wood of Kaito's door, and in the next, his hand was twisting against the knob; pushing against the door with all of his strength; staring at the shocked faces of Kaito and Miku. His vision was blurred with frustrated tears, and he knew Kaito's vision was just as fuzzy. It pained Len; his stupid tears were holding him back from seeing the deep blue eyes that he loved so much. Where were the eyes that soothed him and loved him?

Len stepped forward, stumbling and tripping over nothing but his own feelings – his own confusion and sadness and hopelessness. And then, warm hands reached out and steadied him, catching his own trembling limbs. He was crying even harder. He still couldn't see Kaito, but he could feel him. It was pure sensation. Skin against skin, electrifying nerves; the innocent sincere sensation of intertwined fingers. It didn't feel dirty or disgusting or forbidden. It felt like…

"I love you."

* * *

When they pulled up to the driveway, Lily was already standing at the door to greet them. The blond's expression was happy albeit confused smile, though the uncertainty quickly faded away as she and Luka embraced one another. They pulled away from one another, and Lily moved to greet Gakupo. A few weeks ago, Luka would've been completely calm. As it was, her eyes were nervous as she watched her violet-haired lover embrace their friend and fellow vocalist. Was this difficult for him? Was he fighting with himself not to rip away her clothing and…

"Luka-chan?" A voice sounded from within the house, and the pink-haired women poked her head in the doorway to see a pair mismatched eyes blinking at her owlishly.

"Piko," she breathed with a smile. "It's good to see you."

The younger boy smiled. "Yeah, good to see you too. It's been awhile. I had no idea you were coming. Are the others with you?" The snowy haired singer leaned to the left, doing his best to peek around Luka's body.

"It's a bit of a last minute trip. Gakupo's the only one with me." As soon as those words left her lips, Lily and Gakupo stepped inside.

Had the last twenty-four hours not have happened, she wouldn't have noticed it. Gakupo's eyes roamed up and down Piko's body, but not in a sexual manner. In fact, he didn't react to the younger male at all until they made eye contact. Calm purple eyes narrowed and darkened, clouded with some kind of emotion Luka had never seen in her boyfriend before. She noticed the way he bit his bottom lip, as though he were trying to restrain himself. The thick veins in his neck seemed to pulsate, suggesting that Gakupo was clenching and unclenching his teeth. As Lily called Miki downstairs and Piko offered them a drink, Luka couldn't help but wonder if she made a mistake.

* * *

A/N: Sooooo, things have happened! YAY! My outline for this story is a little off. I ended up slightly pushing certain scenes back (only a tiny bit). Not much plot heavy stuff here, but...at least I updated? *nervous laughter as author ducks and avoids being hit with rotten vegetables* We'll get into some heavier stuff next time, though. I probably shouldn't have included Gakupo and Luka's little scene in this chapter. It gets totally overshadowed by Kaito's angsty drama queen moments. Lol, and Miku totally got lost in the last bit of that scene. I got done writing it and was like, "Miku who?"

And is it possible? Will Kaito FINALLY stop denying the love and just be with Len-chan? And hopefully provide us with a sex scene?

Probably not...

JK. I actually don't know. Kaito frequently does what he wants in this story. He cannot be contained.

SEE YA NEXT TIME!


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